Parenting Perspective 

Gratitude grows when a child understands that every borrowed item carries with it someone’s effort, money, and personal attachment. Teaching this begins by linking the object to the person, so that gratitude becomes an act of respect, not just a polite word. 

Link Belongings to People 

Explain the meaning behind a borrowed item. For example, you could say, ‘This book belongs to your friend. Their family chose it and have kept it safe, and we must honour that effort.’ When you connect objects to people’s feelings and hard work, gratitude becomes a meaningful action. 

Establish a Simple Borrowing Code 

Turn gratitude into a repeatable routine that your child can follow every time they borrow something. This can be broken down into four clear steps. 

• Ask: ‘May I please use this, and is there a special way I should handle it?’ 

• Care: Carry the item with two hands, keep it away from food and spills, and store it in a safe spot. 

• Return: Bring it back on time or earlier, cleaned and neatly packed. 

• Thank: Offer a sincere sentence of thanks, perhaps accompanied by a small kindness like a note. 

Practise this code at home with family items so it becomes a natural habit. 

Provide Practical Language 

Children often feel grateful but may lack the words to express it. Give them short, warm scripts they can use. 

• ‘Thank you for trusting me with your game. I will keep it safe.’ 

• ‘I enjoyed using this. I am returning it in the same condition you gave it to me.’ 

Role-playing these lines, including making eye contact and using a sincere tone, can help build their confidence. 

Make ‘Returning Better’ a Family Value 

Teach your child to return items in a condition that is equal to or better than when they received them. This could mean erasing any stray marks, re-folding an item neatly, or recharging a device. Explain the principle: ‘We return things in a better state because gratitude is an action.’ If something is accidentally damaged, guide them through an immediate repair or replacement, along with a heartfelt apology. 

Use Visual Reminders 

Create a visible ‘Borrowing Basket’ near your door, labelled ‘To Return Today’. You could add a small checklist card for each item with its name, owner, and due date. These simple cues help make the habit of returning things promptly and carefully a consistent part of your routine. 

Acknowledge the Effort 

Notice the less obvious parts of gratitude, such as careful carrying, using a bookmark, or wiping a toy clean before returning it. Offer specific feedback: ‘You kept all the puzzle pieces together in the bag. That shows real respect for your friend’s things.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, gratitude (shukr) is deeply connected to trustworthiness (amanah). Using what belongs to others is a trust from Allah Almighty, and safeguarding it is a part of sincere gratitude. Remind your child that gratitude is more than saying ‘thank you’; it is shown in how gently we hold an entrusted item and how promptly we return it. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners…’ 

This command places the act of returning and safeguarding possessions at the centre of faith. When a child asks for permission, uses an item with care, and returns it on time, they are practising obedience to Allah Almighty in an everyday moment. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that gratitude to people is inseparable from gratitude to Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4811, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.’ 

This Hadith elevates a simple ‘thank you’ to an act of worship. Coach your child to express thanks with both words and deeds, such as by returning an item in better condition or writing a short note. Encourage a small intention before borrowing: ‘O Allah, help me to be careful with this trust and grateful to its owner.’ 

When this approach is part of your family culture, your child will come to see that gratitude is an expression of dignity, not debt. They will understand that careful hands and timely returns build friendships, and that every thank you said with a clean heart is counted by Allah Almighty. In this way, a child learns to honour people’s belongings and to thank Allah Almighty at the very same time.