Parenting Perspective 

When shared property is damaged, the goal is not to humiliate the child, but to teach them about stewardship, justice, and care for communal items. A calm and structured repair process helps to build a child’s conscience and preserves trust between siblings or classmates. It is helpful to think of it as coaching your child to restore three things: the object itself, the relationship with others, and their own sense of reliability. 

Establish the Facts Calmly 

Begin with a brief, non-accusing summary of what happened: ‘The lid of the board game tore during the disagreement. It belongs to everyone in the family.’ You can then invite a moment of reflection by asking, ‘What choices led to this happening?’ It is important to keep your tone of voice steady. Separating the facts from your feelings helps to lower defensiveness and prepares the child to participate in creating a fair plan for repair. 

Match the Repair to the Impact 

A sense of proportionality is key to teaching justice. If the item can be fixed, the repair should involve hands-on help from the child. If a replacement is needed, you can agree on a reasonable contribution from their pocket money or through extra chores that are of service to the family. If the damage has reduced everyone’s enjoyment of the item, you can add a relationship repair, such as asking the child to reorganise the game pieces or to arrange a shared game night. This shows that we must repair both the object and the sense of togetherness it provides. 

Create a Practical Plan Together 

It is effective to write a short, clear plan with your child. This should include what will be fixed or replaced, by when, and how the child will contribute. Keep any financial amounts small but meaningful, and have weekly check-ins to monitor progress. Use language that helps to build their character: ‘You are learning to be a trustworthy caretaker of things we all share.’ Remember to praise their follow-through, not just their promises: ‘You re-boxed all the pieces and taped the corners carefully. That shows responsible stewardship.’ 

Build Safeguards for the Future 

Conclude the process by establishing one simple prevention step for the future. This could be a new storage rule, a timer for taking turns, or a ‘two-hands rule’ for carrying heavy items. Ask the child to state the new safeguard aloud to reinforce it. The message is simple and hopeful: mistakes happen, but trustworthy people learn from them, restore what was damaged, and improve their habits. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, shared property is considered an amanah, or a trust. Damaging something that others rely on is not a small matter because it touches upon the rights of other people. Teaching your child about fair repair therefore becomes a form of worship: you are raising a child who honours trusts, restores rights, and judges their own actions with justice before making excuses. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verses 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice…’ 

This verse provides the two anchors for your repair plan: amanah (trust) and ‘adl (justice). You are asking your child to return the trust to its owners by fixing or replacing what was damaged, and to practise justice by matching the repair to the real impact. A child who learns to restore the rights of others in small family matters is preparing their heart for bigger trusts later in life. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6534, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever has wronged his brother, should ask for his pardon before the Day of Resurrection…’ 

This Hadith turns the act of repair into an urgent act of goodness. It teaches that when a person’s right has been affected, true repentance includes restoring that right and seeking pardon while we still can. You can share this meaning with your child in warm and encouraging words: ‘When we harm something that others need, we fix it now so that our record is clean with people and with Allah Almighty.’ In these small acts of restitution, your child is learning to love fairness, to honour trusts, and to return what belongs to others.