Parenting Perspective 

When child tears open a snack or toy in a shop before it has been paid for, parents often feel a sense of panic and embarrassment. However, this act is rarely driven by an intent to steal; it is usually a product of curiosity, hunger, or impulse. Instead of reacting with shame or anger, see it as an opportunity to teach self-control and honesty. 

Treat It as a Teaching Moment 

Kneel down to your child’s level and say quietly, ‘We have not bought this yet. In shops, we must wait until we pay.’ The goal is to make them aware of the process and its consequences, not to make them afraid of you or of public humiliation. Your calm response is the most important part of the lesson. 

Correct Immediately with Restitution 

Pay for the opened item straight away, even if it must be discarded later. It is important that your child witnesses this act so they associate making amends with integrity, not secrecy. Speak gently but firmly: ‘We opened this early, so we will pay for it now to make things right.’ If possible, have your child hand the money to the cashier or offer a simple apology: ‘I opened this before paying. I am sorry.’ This tangible act of accountability will be more memorable than any lecture. 

Establish Prevention Routines 

Children act on impulse when expectations are unclear. Before each shopping trip, review a simple ‘shopping manners code’ together. 

• Look, but do not touch unless we are buying it. 

• Ask before opening or holding anything. 

• Wait until the item is paid for. 

For younger children, giving them a small task can help. They could hold the shopping list, help push the trolley, or choose one treat at the checkout. Keeping their hands and minds engaged reduces temptation. 

Reinforce Honesty Through Reflection 

Later, at home, revisit the event briefly and calmly: ‘Today, you opened something before we paid for it. We fixed the mistake, and that was the right thing to do.’ Then ask, ‘How can we do better next time?’ This encourages your child to practise moral reasoning. Praise the act of restitution: ‘You helped to pay and said you were sorry. That was very brave.’ This reinforces that mistakes are forgivable when they are handled with honesty. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that amanah (trustworthiness) and sidq (truthfulness) are defining characteristics of true faith. When children learn to wait before taking what is not yet theirs, they are practising these virtues in their daily lives. The patience required at a checkout line becomes training for patience in life. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mutaffifeen (83), Verses 1-3: 

‘Woe be to those fraudsters (who shortchange people in their material dealings). Those people when they account (for receipts) from people, they demand it in full. And when they account (for debts) upon them, or (they have to pay) by weight, they cause a loss (to the other).‘ 

This verse condemns even subtle forms of dishonesty. Opening an item without paying for it is a small version of taking before giving what is due. By guiding your child to make amends, you are teaching them justice in its simplest form. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ defined the moral core of a believer through transparency and integrity. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1579, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever deceives us is not one of us.’ 

This Hadith clarifies that deception includes taking anything before it is rightfully yours, even if it is unintentional. When your child confesses and repairs their mistake, they rejoin the circle of honesty that is pleasing to Allah Almighty. Encourage them to make a small du‘a after making restitution: ‘O Allah, keep me honest in all things, big or small.’ This reminds them that Allah Almighty values truth more than perfection. Over time, these lessons will shape a conscience that chooses what is right, even when no one is watching