Parenting Perspective 

When a child has acted disruptively in a shop, the primary obstacle to an apology is often not stubbornness, but rather a surge of shame and fear. They imagine being reprimanded in public and may hide behind silence, jokes, or avoidance. Your aim is to lower this emotional cost while ensuring that taking responsibility is non-negotiable. 

Begin by calmly stating the purpose: ‘We are going to make this right with respect’. This approach frames the apology as an act of repair, not humiliation, and reassures your child that you will guide them through the process rather than leaving them to face it alone. 

Create Safety and Practise the Words 

Children can speak more confidently when they know you will be standing nearby and that the interaction will be brief. Explain exactly what will happen: where you will stand, to whom they will speak, and how long it will take. Rehearse a two-line script in a normal volume until it sounds steady: ‘I am sorry for running around and touching things. I will walk and keep my hands to myself’. Keep the language concrete and behaviour-focused, not character-focused. Practise a respectful tone and eye contact that feels short and natural, not forced. 

Match the Repair to the Impact 

Help your child to offer a small act that restores what was disturbed. This might involve returning items to their proper places, helping to pick up anything that was knocked over, or simply standing quietly while you complete your purchase without further disruption. This shows that an apology is more than just a word; it is a change in behaviour that staff can see and feel. 

Protect Their Dignity 

During the apology, stand to the side of your child rather than behind them. This shows your presence is supportive without being overbearing. If the staff member speaks sternly, model a steady response: ‘Thank you for hearing us. We are fixing it now’. After the apology is made, close the loop with a quiet acknowledgement to your child: ‘That took courage. You did what was needed to put things right’. Avoid over-praising or turning the moment into a performance. The goal is a clean repair that restores trust and teaches self-control in public spaces. 

Install a Small Future Guardrail 

Before you enter shops next time, agree on a simple pre-cue: ‘We walk, we look with our eyes, and we keep our hands by our sides unless we ask’. Invite your child to repeat this rule at the door. A short, predictable routine helps to reduce anxiety and turns good manners into a habit, not a heroic effort. 

Spiritual Insight 

Set the intention together before you approach the staff member: ‘We want Allah Almighty to love how we speak and make things right’. Teach your child that an apology is not a performance; it is an act of worship when it protects other people’s time, space, and dignity. Place this divine guidance at the centre of the action, so that their heart and tongue move together. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them…’ 

Explain gently that ‘saying what is best’ in this situation means speaking the truth with respect, ensuring the shop remains a place of ease, not tension. The apology you rehearsed is a direct and practical fulfilment of this verse. 

Add to this the Prophetic measure of public safety and courtesy, so your child understands the responsibility they have towards the people around them. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 10, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand people are safe.’ 

Now, you can link the verse and the hadith back to the moment at the counter. The verse shapes the words of the apology, while the hadith shapes the behaviour that follows. Together, they teach that a believer uses their speech to mend and their hands to protect, not to disturb. After the apology and the small act of restitution are complete, end with a short family phrase your child can remember: ‘We speak what is best, and we keep people safe’. In this rhythm, public manners become faith in action, and your child learns that true confidence is the courage to make things right with sincerity and calm.