Parenting Perspective 

Respect is cultivated, not demanded. Its foundation is laid through consistent, daily rituals that reinforce connection, understanding, and mutual regard. When children feel seen, heard, and valued, their behaviour is more likely to align with family expectations, reducing the need for constant correction. Punishment often becomes a default tool only when that primary connection is weak. By embedding small, meaningful routines into your day, you can build a culture of respect organically. 

Morning and Evening Check-Ins 

Begin and end each day with brief, intentional moments of connection. A simple morning greeting that includes eye contact and a question about their feelings signals that your child’s voice matters. In the evening, a quick reflection together on the day’s events solidifies your bond. You might ask, ‘What was one good part of your day?’ These small rituals reinforce that respect is a mutual practice built on attentiveness, not a response to fear. 

Shared Responsibilities and Participation 

Involve your children in the daily tasks that keep the household running, such as preparing meals or tidying spaces. When children have a tangible role and shared responsibilities, they develop a sense of ownership and belonging. This teaches them that respectful participation is essential for the family to function well. Frame tasks collaboratively rather than as commands: ‘Let us set the table together so everyone can enjoy dinner’. 

Consistent Acknowledgement 

Make a habit of noticing and verbally appreciating your child’s efforts, honesty, and politeness, no matter how small the action. Consistent acknowledgement of positive behaviour is far more effective at shaping character than punishing negative behaviour. Simple phrases like, ‘I really appreciate how you helped your sister just now,’ or, ‘Thank you for telling me the truth,’ signal that you see and value their respectful choices. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages nurturing relationships with kindness, patience, and fairness, which are the building blocks of genuine respect. Daily actions that reflect these values teach children that good manners and clear boundaries are part of Allah’s guidance for a harmonious life, not just parental rules. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verses 36: 

‘And worship Allah (Almighty) only, and do not ascribe to anything instead of Him (Allah Almighty); (which amounts to  icon worshipping/paganism); and with parents (proceed with them favourably), and with close relatives and friends and impoverished (people); and your neighbour that is close to your neighbourhood, and the neighbour that is remote from you; and the companion by your side and the traveller and those (women) that are legally bound to you; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those who are deceitful and arrogant.’ 

This verse commands a wide-reaching kindness that should begin in the home. By modelling this consistent respect towards everyone in the family, parents demonstrate the highest standard of Islamic character for their children to internalise. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy on our young, and does not respect our elders.’ 

This hadith directly links mercy and respect as essential qualities of a believer. By embedding daily rituals of care, attention, and collaboration into family life, you are practising this prophetic teaching. You cultivate respect naturally, reducing the reliance on punishment and fostering a home culture aligned with the deepest values of our faith.