Parenting Perspective 

When others shout their child down, whether in class, at home, or among peers, it can shake their confidence. Many children either freeze or shout back, mistakenly thinking that volume equals strength. In truth, calm composure is the real power. Rehearsed, steady responses give children emotional tools to hold their ground without losing their dignity. 

Help Your Child Understand What Is Happening 

Explain that shouting is often a sign of frustration, not a reflection of truth. You can tell your child, ‘When someone raises their voice, they are losing control, not gaining authority.’ This perspective helps them to separate the tone from the meaning and keeps their own emotions steady. 

Teach Calm and Grounded Replies 

Provide your child with short, respectful phrases that reclaim their space without resorting to aggression: 

• ‘I will speak when you have finished.’ 

• ‘Please lower your voice; I can listen better that way.’ 

• ‘I want to hear you, but not like this.’ 

• ‘Let us take turns; I will listen, and then I will share.’ 

These lines are polite yet firm. Practise them at home using role-play, focusing on slow speech, relaxed shoulders, and a gentle tone. The calmer the voice, the stronger the message. 

Model Peaceful Exit Skills 

If the shouting continues, teach your child to disengage respectfully by saying, ‘I will talk about this when we are both calmers.’ They can then walk away or take a few steps back. This protects their peace without disrespecting the other person. Emphasise that walking away is not weakness; it is wisdom. 

Rebuild Confidence After Conflict 

After such an incident, praise your child for their restraint: ‘You stayed calm, and that was truly strong.’ This reinforces the idea that peacekeeping requires far more courage than reacting in anger. With time, your child will learn that the ability to respond gently under pressure is one of the highest forms of maturity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values composure and restraint over retaliation. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ exemplified calm, even when he was insulted or shouted at. A believer’s control of their tongue and temper is a reflection of their faith, not their fear. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

This verse beautifully captures the Islamic principle of maintaining dignity under provocation. Teach your child that their gentleness in the face of shouting is not weakness; it is a form of worship. When they choose peace over pride, they walk in the footsteps of those who are loved to Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who is strong in wrestling, but the one who controls himself in anger.’ 

This Hadith defines strength through self-control. When your child stays calm while being shouted at, they are embodying this prophetic strength, which is quiet, steady, and wise. Remind them that every moment of restraint is seen by Allah Almighty, even when others overlook it. 

Through rehearsed, peaceful responses, your child learns to protect both their voice and their virtue, a rare strength that shines brighter than any loud reply.