Parenting Perspective 

For many children, chores feel like an interruption rather than a meaningful contribution. They may view tidying a room or helping in the kitchen as an added burden because they do not yet grasp the bigger picture of how a household functions. At the heart of their resistance is a sense of fairness, prompting questions like, ‘Why me?’ and ‘Why now?’ To them, childhood is often about play and freedom, so chores can feel unfairly imposed rather than naturally expected. 

Understanding the Child’s Perspective 

Children typically live in the present. They tend to measure effort against an immediate reward, not long-term growth. When asked to pause a game to fold laundry, they feel a sense of loss more than a sense of purpose. They do not automatically connect chores to independence or maturity. Recognising this developmental lens helps parents to respond with empathy instead of frustration. 

Reframing Chores as Belonging 

Instead of presenting chores as ‘extra work’, invite your child to see them as part of being a member of the household team. A simple phrase like, ‘This is how we take care of each other,’ shifts the meaning from a burden to a sense of belonging. When a child feels their actions genuinely matter to the family, even small tasks can hold dignity. Parents can reinforce this by acknowledging the impact: ‘Thank you for setting the table. We all ate sooner because of you.’ 

Linking Chores to Competence 

Children often resist when they believe chores are meaningless. When parents show how these tasks build competence, the child’s perspective can change. Washing dishes can be framed as learning to care for one’s future home, while folding clothes can be seen as practising organisation. By occasionally connecting chores to adult skills, parents plant the idea that these are stepping stones towards independence, not punishments. 

One Micro-Action Tonight 

Choose a chore your child already does and pair it with visible appreciation. For example, if they put their shoes away, highlight the benefit: ‘Now you will find them quickly in the morning.’ This helps the child connect effort with ease, creating a link between responsibility today and freedom tomorrow. Over time, the message becomes clear: chores are not extra work; they are an investment in their own life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic guidance offers a powerful perspective: responsibility is not extra; it is central to human dignity. Chores are small expressions of amanah (trust), teaching children that every action has meaning before Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verse 7: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

Even the smallest act, like sweeping a corner or placing a dish in its place, carries weight. This verse helps children understand that no action is wasted; every effort is part of their moral and spiritual growth. Parents can use this to gently remind them that chores are not interruptions but acts of goodness recognised by Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Riyad Salihin, Hadith 121, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not belittle any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.’ 

If even a smile counts as a good deed, then helping with family tasks certainly holds great value. Sharing this Hadith with children teaches them that responsibility is woven into the fabric of daily life and that ordinary deeds are pathways to reward. 

Together, these reminders elevate chores from the realm of ‘extra work’ into the domain of meaningful living. Parents who frame tasks in terms of belonging, competence, and worship can nurture a mindset where responsibility is embraced rather than resisted. Over time, children learn that chores are not something taken from them, but something that builds them.