Parenting Perspective 

It is a paradox many parents notice: children resist the very household tasks that form the foundation of adult independence. Chores like cooking, cleaning, budgeting, or laundry are met with sighs, excuses, or even outright refusal. Yet these are the exact skills they will later rely on when living alone or raising a family. Understanding this resistance requires stepping into a child’s world. 

The Clash Between Present and Future 

Children live mostly in the present. The future feels abstract, distant, and unreal. A teenager might know that they will one day need to cook for themselves, but today’s pressing concern is their comfort or their friends. When asked to do chores, the demand collides with their short-term focus. What feels obvious to parents—‘you will need this skill one day’—may not hold urgency for them. 

The Emotional Weight of Chores 

Another layer of resistance is emotional. Many children associate chores with obligation, not growth. They may feel it robs them of freedom or interrupts their leisure. If the only message they hear is ‘do this because I told you so,’ chores become a symbol of control, not empowerment. Parents can reframe chores by linking them to values children care about, such as independence, creativity, or trust. 

The Bridge to Adulthood 

Parents can strengthen this bridge by highlighting the dignity of self-reliance. For example: ‘When you learn how to cook your favourite meal, you will not have to depend on anyone to enjoy it.’ Or, ‘When you manage your laundry, you are proving that you can handle life’s demands step by step.’ By placing chores in the language of maturity, parents help children connect the dots between today’s tasks and tomorrow’s freedom. 

A Micro-Action to Try 

Choose one chore your child resists most and connect it with a benefit that matters to them. If they dislike laundry, link it to having control over wearing their favourite outfit whenever they wish. If they avoid cooking, frame it as the skill that allows them to share food with friends. When chores become gateways to autonomy, resistance slowly lessens. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, responsibility is seen not as a burden but as a trust. The skills we learn to manage our lives—whether earning, cooking, cleaning, or caring—are part of the amanah Allah Almighty has placed upon us. Chores at home, though simple, are training grounds for honouring that trust and preparing children to handle greater responsibilities as adults. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 84: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “Each person acts according to their own temperament, so your Sustainer is fully aware as to who is the one, who (has chosen to be on) the rightly guided pathways”.’ 

This verse reminds us that every person acts in a way that reflects their inner discipline and character. When children learn chores, they are not only performing tasks but shaping their manner of living—responsible, guided, and trustworthy. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd and every one of you will be asked about his flock…’ 

This Hadith emphasises that responsibility starts small but extends to all aspects of life. A child who learns to care for their belongings or contribute to family chores is, in fact, learning the weight of being a shepherd. 

When parents connect chores to dignity, trust, and service, children begin to see that these skills are not punishments but preparations. Over time, they come to realise that what once felt like unwanted tasks were, in reality, the stepping stones that equipped them for the independence and responsibility of adulthood.