Parenting Perspective 

Decode the ‘Status Bait’ 

Older children often use ‘status bait’—dangling access, aesthetics, attention, special seating, insider chats, borrowed brands, or conditional invites—to pull younger peers into their orbit. Help your child to name the pattern: ‘They are offering shine, not genuine friendship.’ 

Ask them three crucial litmus questions to test the integrity of the offer: 

• ‘Do I feel I must hide this from my parents?’ 

• ‘Do I lose my other friends if I say no to this?’ 

• ‘Do I feel smaller or less valued if I disagree with them?’ 

If the answer to any question is yes, it is not healthy belonging; it is controlled as status. 

Build Inner Anchors Before Outer Choices 

Strengthen the child’s identity, which status attempts to supplant. Revisit your family’s core non-negotiables: honesty, modesty, mercy, and courage. 

• Maintain routines that steady the heart: Salah (prayer) on time, adequate sleep, consistent sport, and meaningful chores. A regulated body and a clear routine make saying ‘no’ significantly easier. 

• Give your child a short inner script for pressure moments: ‘My worth comes from Allah Almighty, not from their approval.’ 

• Pair this with a calm exit line they can repeat: ‘I am good, thanks. I am heading to my group now.’ 

Teach Skills That Make ‘No’ Sound Confident 

Role-play small scenes to coach subtle but effective resistance. 

• If the offer is harmless, suggest a boundary: ‘I am up for the game, but not the videos you mentioned.’ 

• If the offer crosses moral lines, teach a clean refusal: ‘Not my thing. Have a good one.’ 

Practise a firm tone, steady posture, and an unhurried walk-away. Show them how to redirect without shaming the other party: change the topic, ask a neutral question, or excuse themselves to a pre-planned task. Confidence often lies in the timing more than the specific wording. 

Replace the Lure With Real Belonging 

Widen their social circles so that no single ‘shiny’ invite dictates their day. Map three dependable anchors: a sport or arts team, a study buddy set, and a youth or service circle at the local masjid (mosque). 

• Coach micro-invitations they can use weekly: ‘We are revising after school if you want to join.’ 

• Contribution beats consumption: encourage them to lead a drill, create flashcards, or host a board-game lunch. Real leadership is service, not self-spotlight. 

Partner With School and Keep Digital Clean 

Quietly brief a trusted teacher or mentor so they can gently nudge inclusive group dynamics and provide safe zones if older students apply pressure. 

Online Safety: Lock privacy settings, immediately leave risky group chats, and screenshot any coercion. Remind your child that replying in anger only provides the other party with a screenshot; silence and documentation offer genuine protection. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Qur’an Resets the Meaning of ‘High Status’ 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Qasas (28), Verse 83: 

‘That home of the Hereafter We assign to those who do not desire exaltedness upon the earth or corruption. And the [best] outcome is for the righteous…’ 

This verse fundamentally flips the script that older children often promote. Chasing ‘exaltedness’ or worldly status is not a path to honour in Islam; the best outcome belongs to those who refuse to climb by putting others down. 

Explain to your child that when they step back from status games, they are not losing rank; they are choosing the only rank that endures. If an invite requires mockery, secrecy, or vanity, it is the very ‘exaltedness on the earth’ the ayah warns against. Walking away is an act of worship, not weakness. 

The Prophetic Warning Against Status-Showing 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3607, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever wears a garment of pride and vanity in this world, Allah will clothe him in a garment of humiliation on the Day of Resurrection, then set it ablaze.’ 

This hadith (Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah 3607, Book 32, Hadith 58) is not limited to clothing; it is a warning against signalling status to feel superior to others. Use it to show your child how ‘looking impressive’ at someone else’s expense inevitably backfires in the Hereafter. 

When older children lure with exclusive labels, curated images, or access, the prophetic guidance is clear: do not trade humility for spectacle. Help your child see the practical application: choose neatness over show, sincerity over performance, and friends who value character over costume. If they desire something trendy, pair it with an act of charity or giving so the heart does not begin to worship the fleeting appearance. 

Close the loop for them: Islam does not forbid beauty or friendship; it purifies both. The Quran directs them away from hollow ‘exaltedness’, and the hadith warns that performative status leads to humiliation. Real honour is quiet, service-oriented, and stable. Teach your child to ask: ‘Does this make me truer, kinder, and braver for Allah Almighty?’ If the answer is yes, they should step forward. If no, they should step back. That simple compass will keep their head high and their heart free, even when the world shouts that shine is everything.