Parenting Perspective 

Jealousy in a child often signals a fear of being left behind, not just a desire for the same badge, uniform, or spotlight. It is important to address this underlying emotion with empathy and a clear, fair structure at home. 

Acknowledge the Feeling, Not the Fault 

Start by creating a calm and stable atmosphere. Name the feeling without using labels: ‘It looked hard to see your brother join his new group. Feeling jealous is a human emotion, but hurting or mocking others is not allowed.’ When you separate feelings from actions, a child feels safe enough to listen and understand. 

Understand the Root of the Jealousy 

Ask two gentle questions to discover the underlying reason for their feelings: ‘What feels most unfair to you about this?’ and ‘What are you worried will change at home now?’ Many children are more concerned about losing a parent’s time or shared friends than they are about the club itself. Once the real worry is named, the path to a solution becomes clearer. 

Offer Dignity Before Solutions 

Provide a private moment of attention to the jealous child during the same week. Ten to fifteen minutes of ‘your choice time’ sends a powerful message: ‘You still matter here.’ Then, explore their genuine interests rather than encouraging imitation: ‘What would feel exciting for you to try this term?’ This approach protects their individuality instead of turning your home into a place of rivalry. 

Create a Fairness Plan, Not a Sameness Plan 

Explain that fairness is based on clear reasons, not identical outcomes. Share the criteria you use for family decisions: safety is first, genuine interest is next, and effort will always be rewarded. Use a simple, visible rota for things like lifts to activities, showcase nights, and choosing weekend plans, so the spotlight moves predictably between the children. 

Design a Parallel Win 

Help the jealous child to try something new that matches their own strengths, whether it is an art club, a nasheed circle, coding, a recitation group, or a sport. Use a ‘two-week trial’ rule for any new activity before making a long-term commitment. Track their effort on a small chart at home so that their progress becomes visible, not just their sibling’s milestones. 

Coach Language That Lowers Rivalry 

Give your child short scripts they can use that are both honest and kind: 

• ‘I am happy you like your group. I felt a bit left out today. Is it possible for me to come and watch one session, or can we plan something for me this week?’ 

• ‘I would like a turn to choose our Saturday plan. After your match, I get to choose for next week.’ 

Rehearse the tone of these phrases and offer immediate praise for any respectful request they make. 

Build Inclusive Family Rituals 

Create small roles throughout the week so that the sense of belonging is shared. One child could help to pack the other’s kit, while the other could record a thirty-second ‘highlight reel’ after a practice session. You could also hold a five-minute ‘cheer circle’ on showcase nights, where each sibling shares one sincere compliment with the other. These rituals help to convert comparison into contribution. 

Spiritual Insight 

Jealousy can shrink the heart by fixing its gaze on what others possess. Islam teaches us to lift our gaze towards what Allah Almighty has apportioned for each soul, to seek goodness without resentment, and to choose excellence (ihsan) in our family manners. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 32: 

‘And do not begrudge what benefactions have been given by Allah (Almighty), some of you instead of others; for the men is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work), and for the women, is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work); and (if you wish for more) ask Allah (Almighty) from His benefactions (to give you more); indeed, Allah (Almighty) is Omniscient over everything.’ 

Explain to your child that this verse redirects the heart from staring at someone else’s portion to asking Allah Almighty for their own. Help them to make a short dua before choosing their own activities: ‘O Allah, show me my own path, bless my effort, and make me pleased with Your decree.’ 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2563, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, but be, O servants of Allah, brothers.’ 

Use this hadith to set a family ethic: we do not allow envy to speak through our hands or our words. Instead, we practise one act of ihsan each week for our sibling’s path, and one act of shukr (gratitude) for our own. Over time, the home learns a softer rhythm, where each child pursues a different good, both are celebrated, and their hearts expand with blessings (barakah) rather than tighten with comparison.