Parenting Perspective 

Children often experience setbacks, such as a failed audition or a rejected art project, and instinctively label them as final. They see every disappointment as a closed door. Teaching them the difference between a ‘no’ and a ‘not-yet’ is crucial for building resilience and hope. 

Acknowledge Hurt, Then Reframe 

When your child faces rejection, it is important to acknowledge their hurt first. You might say, ‘That must have really hurt; I know you worked so hard for it’. Validation calms the heart and makes space for a new perspective. Then, you can gently add, ‘Sometimes Allah Almighty delays something to prepare us for something even better. Perhaps this is not a “no”, but just a “not yet”’. This simple distinction helps prevent discouragement from settling in as shame. 

Focus on Process, Not Outcome 

Help your child reframe disappointment by focusing on the process over the outcome. Ask questions like, ‘What did you learn this time that you can use for next time?’ This question turns a feeling of failure into valuable feedback. When they realise that growth can happen even while they are waiting, they stop fearing these pauses. The goal is not to convince them that everything will always work out perfectly, but that every experience, even an apparent ending, carries meaning. 

Use Stories to Build Patience 

Use examples from your own life or your family’s history to make the concept of patience more tangible. You could tell them, ‘When I did not get that job, I felt sad too, but I later realised it led me to something much better’. Stories bring abstract ideas to life. Encourage them to notice small improvements in their own efforts: ‘Last time you froze on stage, but this time you spoke two lines. That is wonderful progress’. This helps them see that waiting is not inactivity; it is a period of quiet preparation. 

Turn Waiting into Active Growth 

Teach your child that a ‘not-yet’ is an invitation to act, not to despair. Encourage them to set small goals during these waiting periods, such as practising daily, learning new techniques, or helping someone else. This approach transforms passive waiting into purposeful living. You can remind them, ‘Allah Almighty never forgets our effort. Every moment you try again, you are moving closer to His perfect timing’. This mindset keeps hope alive without creating a sense of entitlement, cultivating a balance between striving and surrender. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that what appears to be a closed door may in fact be a form of divine protection or redirection. Human understanding is limited, and learning to trust in a higher wisdom is a core aspect of faith. When a child learns that Allah’s knowledge exceeds their own plans, they can begin to trust both outcomes: the doors that open and those that remain closed for now. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 216: 

‘…And perhaps that which you are repelled by (may in fact) be for your betterment; and perhaps that thing which you love to undertake, and that might be bad for you; and (the reality is that) Allah (Almighty) is fully aware of everything that you do not know.’ 

This verse offers one of the most profound lessons in patience. Explaining this to your child anchors their emotions in faith. You can tell them, ‘Sometimes Allah Almighty protects us by delaying things until we are truly ready for them’. A nightly reflection on this verse can turn frustration into gratitude. Encourage your child to whisper before sleeping, ‘Ya Allah, help me to trust Your plan, even when I do not understand it yet’. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Be keen on what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not give up.’ 

This Hadith beautifully joins effort with faith. It teaches us that patience is not passivity; it is active striving coupled with complete trust in Allah. When you share this with your child, explain that even if something has not happened yet, they must continue to do their best and rely on Allah Almighty for the result. Each ‘not-yet’ moment becomes a test of both perseverance and surrender. 

A true believer does not stop at closed doors. They keep knocking with faith, trusting that if something is meant for them, Allah will open the way at the perfect time. When your child learns to see delays as divine pauses rather than denials, they develop the spiritual maturity to walk through life with calm determination.