Parenting Perspective 

When children perceive cooking or other household tasks as ‘someone else’s job’, it is often because they have been exposed to cultural or familial assumptions that associate certain duties with one gender. For a son, this can create a sense that stepping into the kitchen is optional, even unmanly, while the sister absorbs an unspoken burden. The emotional core here is fairness and identity: your son may resist because he fears being judged or does not understand why it matters, while your daughter may feel overburdened or resentful. 

Making Responsibility Tangible 

Children respond when chores are linked to visible outcomes and pride. Instead of simply saying, ‘You need to cook,’ you could frame it as: ‘We all eat together, so we all share in making the meal. When you help, you are caring for the family just like your sister.’ By naming the connection between effort and contribution, the child begins to see that responsibility is about service, not gender. 

Modelling and Collaboration 

Joint cooking sessions can be powerful. Have your son and daughter plan and prepare a meal together, taking turns chopping, stirring, and serving. Narrate the moral dimension: ‘By sharing these tasks, you are showing teamwork and patience, and you are lifting the load for each other.’ 

Positive Reinforcement Over Criticism 

Focus on effort and engagement rather than perfect results. Highlighting initiative builds internal motivation. Statements like, ‘I noticed how carefully you arranged the plates—that is thoughtful and helpful,’ reinforce that cooking is meaningful and valued when done sincerely, regardless of who traditionally ‘should’ do it. 

Micro-Action to Try 

A micro-action tonight could be inviting your son to handle one simple part of dinner, such as washing vegetables or setting the table, while praising his effort: ‘I appreciate how you took the time to prepare the vegetables; it makes everything smoother for the whole family.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, caring for one’s family through service is a duty for all believers, independent of gender. Tasks that benefit the household, like cooking, are opportunities to practice patience, generosity, and responsibility—qualities deeply esteemed by Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse reminds us that each child is capable of contributing according to their ability. Cooking, like any chore, is a manageable opportunity to develop skills, self-reliance, and care for others, not a weight to avoid. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 272, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

Shall I tell you about who is most beloved to me and the one who will be seated closest to me on the Day of Judgment?” The people were silent, so he repeated that two or three times. Then the people said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “The one among you with the best character. 

Serving one’s household is a part of best character as modeled by the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ hence chores like cooking, cleaning, or helping, reflects virtue and moral character. By showing your son that the kitchen is a shared space of responsibility, parents help him understand that acts of service and care are valued equally, and that generosity, patience, and attention to others’ needs are marks of true character. 

Through modelling, shared tasks, and recognition of effort, cooking transforms from a chore tied to gender into a meaningful act of service, instilling pride, dignity, and a deep understanding of responsibility that aligns with Islamic values.