Parenting Perspective 

When boys are told that certain skills—cooking, cleaning, laundry, or basic household management—are ‘not for them’, the emotional core is often a mix of confusion, avoidance, and identity pressure. They may want to contribute but fear judgement or teasing, or they may internalise the stereotype and limit themselves unconsciously. Over time, this belief restricts their independence, confidence, and ability to take responsibility, leaving them reliant on others and unsure of their capabilities. 

Naming the Limitation 

Begin by acknowledging the challenge: ‘I understand that sometimes it feels like these tasks are ‘not for boys’, but that is just a message from culture, not reality. Everyone needs life skills, and you are capable.’ Validating the pressure they feel helps them separate their self-worth from outdated societal expectations. 

Modelling and Practical Exposure 

Children learn by observing and participating. Parents can model skill-sharing openly: fathers cooking, sons folding laundry, daughters helping with repairs. Narrate the purpose: ‘We all learn these skills so we can care for ourselves and others.’ Consistent exposure and gentle participation teach that these skills are human responsibilities, not gendered privileges. 

Reinforcing Growth and Competence 

Focus on mastery and moral purpose. Emphasise that developing life skills builds independence, empathy, and preparedness for adulthood. You can frame it as character-building: ‘By learning to cook and tidy, you are practising responsibility and care—qualities everyone, regardless of gender, benefits from.’ 

Micro-Action to Try 

Invite your son to make a simple meal, praising effort rather than outcome—‘I like how you carefully chopped the vegetables; it helps everyone enjoy the meal.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, contribution, service, and skill-building are moral duties for all believers. Virtue is measured by effort, care, and intention, not by gender. Learning life skills is therefore a way to embody responsibility and moral excellence. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran in Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 104: 

‘(In order that) there may develop from you a nation that invites (people) towards betterment; by promoting that which is positive (in its outcome) and forbidding that which is negative (in its outcome); and those are the successful people.’ 

The verse reminds us that teaching, modelling, and enabling good habits—such as life skills, are acts of moral leadership. Encouraging boys to learn life skills is part of cultivating competence and upright character. 

It is recorded in Sahi Bukhari, Hadith 676, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He ﷺ used to keep himself busy serving his family.’ 

By emphasizing diligence and sincerity, parents can shift boys’ focus from societal stereotypes to personal responsibility. Life skills, when approached with intention, patience, and care, become a source of independence, dignity, and service to others. Boys who learn these skills develop confidence, resilience, and moral strength, aligned with values Allah Almighty loves and honours.