Parenting Perspective 

Children often absorb cultural messages suggesting that certain responsibilities are ‘for girls’ or ‘for boys’. The emotional core here is confusion and injustice: they notice unequal expectations and may internalise either guilt, resentment, or a sense of entitlement. When chores or life skills are framed as gendered, children struggle to understand fairness, shared contribution, and personal capability. Parents can help them see responsibility as universal, based on character and ability rather than sex. 

Make Expectations Explicit and Equal 

Begin by assigning tasks without reference to gender: everyone contributes to cleaning, cooking, or tidying according to ability. Say something like: ‘We all live here, so we all help. It does not matter if you are a boy or a girl; helping is part of being a responsible member of the family.’ This immediate, concrete example shows that skills and duties are shared. 

Model Non-Gendered Participation 

Children internalise lessons by observing behaviour. Parents should visibly engage in all types of tasks, narrating purpose and care: ‘I am cooking dinner to make things easier for everyone, just as I fold the laundry to help the household run smoothly.’ By modelling shared responsibility, children see that life skills are practical necessities, not gendered privileges. 

Reflect and Discuss 

Invite children to discuss how everyone’s contribution matters: ‘How did it feel when we all helped set the table together?’ Such reflections help them connect effort with fairness, empathy, and shared pride. Over time, this practice rewires their understanding of responsibility as a moral and practical value, rather than a gendered expectation. 

Micro-Action to Try 

Have your son prepare part of the family meal tonight while your daughter manages the laundry, praising each for their effort. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values fairness, competence, and contribution, regardless of gender. Duties and moral responsibility are assigned by ability and sincerity, not sex. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 35: 

‘Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women; and the believing men and believing women; and the compliant men and compliant wome …Allah (Almighty) has prepared for all of them redemption and a great reward.’ 

This verse affirms that reward, accountability, and moral responsibility are equal for all, irrespective of gender. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4682, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most perfect believer in respect of faith is he who is best of them in manners.’ 

By framing chores and responsibilities as contributions to the household and community, parents teach children that every act of service, skill-building, or care holds equal value for boys and girls. Over time, children internalise that responsibility is universal, reinforcing fairness, competence, and moral growth under the guidance of Allah Almighty.