Parenting Perspective 

Model Respectful Language 

Teaching a child to speak kindly is an important aspect of their social and emotional development. Children often do not fully understand the impact of their words on others, so it is essential to model respectful language and guide them in recognising the power of their words. Start by consistently modelling kind language yourself. Speak to your child with respect and use kind words, even in difficult situations. Children learn by example, so when they see you speaking kindly, they are more likely to adopt the same behaviour. 

Address Hurtful Words Calmly 

When your child uses hurtful words, address the situation immediately. Explain calmly why their words were hurtful and how it made others feel. For example, you might say, ‘When you called your brother that name, it hurt his feelings. Imagine how you would feel if someone said that to you.’ Helping your child to empathise with others is key to encouraging kinder behaviour. It is also important to help them understand that words can either build people up or tear them down. 

Encourage Mindful Speech 

Encourage your child to think before speaking. You can ask them questions like, ‘Is this something kind to say? How would the other person feel when they hear it?’ Teaching your child to pause and reflect before speaking allows them to become more mindful of their words. Praise them when they use kind words or handle a situation with patience and empathy. Positive reinforcement will help them to understand that speaking kindly is appreciated and valued. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the importance of speaking kindly and avoiding harmful speech is clearly emphasised. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 70: 

‘O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.’ 

This verse reminds us to be mindful of the words we speak, ensuring that they are just and kind. Encouraging your child to speak kindly aligns with these values, teaching them to be considerate of others’ feelings and to use their words for good. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also provided guidance on the power of words. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

Speaking kindly to others, especially to family members, is a reflection of the values of Islam. By teaching your child to speak with kindness, you are helping them to embody these values, contributing to their emotional growth and spiritual development.