Parenting Perspective 

Normalise the Feeling, Not the Action 

If your child hits or breaks things when angry, it is important to address the behaviour calmly and to teach them healthier ways of expressing their emotions. You can begin by acknowledging that anger is a normal feeling, but how we express it is what matters most. Explain to your child that hitting or breaking things is not an acceptable way to handle anger. You could say, ‘It is okay to feel angry, but it is not okay to hurt others or to break things because of it.’ 

Teach Calming Techniques 

Guide your child to recognise the early signs of anger, such as tension in their body or a feeling of frustration and teach them techniques to calm themselves down before they escalate. You can practise calming techniques together, such as taking deep breaths, counting to ten, or going to a quiet space. For example, you might say, ‘When you start feeling really angry, let us take a few deep breaths together and calm down before we talk about it.’ 

Encourage Responsibility 

It is also important to help your child to take responsibility for their actions. If they have broken something, explain the consequences of their behaviour and encourage them to make amends. For example, ‘You broke your sister’s toy when you were angry. What can we do to fix it or to make it right?’ This helps your child to learn that their actions have consequences and encourages them to think about how they can repair the situation. Praise your child when they use healthy coping strategies, reinforcing the idea that managing anger with self-control is a sign of strength. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, managing anger and maintaining self-control is highly emphasised. Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

This verse encourages patience and forgiveness, even in moments of anger. By teaching your child to control their anger and to express it in healthy ways, you are guiding them to align with these Islamic values. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also provided guidance on managing anger. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that true strength lies in the ability to control our emotions, especially in moments of anger. By helping your child to manage their anger in a healthy way, you are teaching them to embody the values of patience and self-control, which are essential in Islam.