Parenting Perspective 

Discuss Delayed Gratification 

Teaching self-control with treats, toys, or money is a vital life skill that helps your child to develop the ability to make thoughtful and balanced decisions. You can start by discussing the concept of delayed gratification with your child. Explain that it is important to manage our desires and to make responsible choices rather than giving in to immediate urges. For example, you could say, ‘It is okay to want treats or toys, but it is important to wait and to make sure we are making good decisions.’ 

Set Clear Boundaries 

Set clear boundaries around treats, toys, or money, and involve your child in the decision-making when it comes to spending or indulging. For example, if your child wants a new toy, you can explain that they need to earn it by saving money or by completing chores. Teach them that money is a tool that requires careful thought before it is spent and reinforce the idea that their choices should reflect their values and goals. You could say, ‘We can save for something special, but we need to decide if it is really what we want or if it is just something we want right now.’ 

Encourage Reflection 

If your child struggles with self-control, it is important to remind them that this is a skill that can be developed over time. Encourage them to reflect on their choices and to talk through how they might make better decisions in the future. For example, you could ask, ‘When you saved your money and bought that toy, how did it feel? Would you want to do that again?’ This allows your child to connect their actions with positive outcomes. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, self-control is a highly valued virtue, and Allah Almighty encourages us to avoid excess and indulgence. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 31: 

‘O children of Adam, take (appropriate) measures to beautify yourself (before you appear) at any place of worship (for Prayer); and eat and drink and do not be extravagant (wasteful), as indeed, He (Allah Almighty) does not like extravagance.’ 

This verse teaches the importance of moderation and of avoiding excess in all aspects of life, including consumption and material desires. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of self-control in various aspects of life. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reminds us that true strength lies in controlling our desires and choosing actions that are beneficial in the long term. By teaching your child to practice self-control with treats, toys, and money, you are helping them to develop habits of moderation, responsibility, and foresight, which are deeply rooted in the teachings of Islam.