Parenting Perspective 

When a new baby enters the family, many parents are surprised to see their older child begin to act younger again by asking for bottles, clinging at bedtime, or forgetting toilet habits. This regression is not misbehaviour; it is an emotional response to a significant change. The older child is learning to share love, space, and time, all while adjusting to this new arrival. Your calm understanding at this stage can shape how securely they bond with their sibling and how loved they feel within this new family rhythm. 

Understand the Emotion Behind Regression 

Regression signals a longing for reassurance. The child’s world has shifted, and the routines that once guaranteed connection now revolve around someone else. It is important to avoid interpreting this as manipulation or jealousy; instead, see it as an invitation to reconnect. When parents respond with empathy rather than scolding, the behaviour usually fades more quickly. 

Strengthen Security Through Connection 

Create small, predictable moments that belong only to the older child. You could read a book together before bed, take a short walk, or ask for their ‘help’ in caring for the baby. These actions restore their sense of significance. Say things like, ‘You are such a gentle helper’ or ‘I love spending this moment just with you’. When a child feels secure in your affection, they no longer need to compete for it through regression. 

Keep Routines Familiar but Flexible 

Structure provides an anchor for children during times of transition. Continue familiar practices, such as bedtime stories, mealtime duas, and school runs, but introduce flexibility with compassion. If they need you to sit beside them while they fall asleep again, treat it as a healing process, not a step backwards. You can gradually return to independence once their emotional balance is restored. 

Avoid Comparison and Pressure 

Comments such as, ‘You are the big one now’ can unintentionally burden a child. They already feel displaced, and adding pressure to ‘be grown up’ only amplifies their insecurity. Instead, emphasise belonging: ‘You and your baby brother both make our family special’. This approach reaffirms inclusion rather than hierarchy. 

When you interpret regression as communication instead of rebellion, you model patience, mercy, and emotional intelligence. This approach builds lasting trust and helps to prevent resentment between siblings later in life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam views the birth of every child as a sign of mercy from Allah Almighty. Parenting multiple children is not about managing competition but about cultivating fairness, compassion, and gratitude for the trust (Amanah) placed in your care. When one child struggles with change, it becomes a test of the parent’s sabr (patience) and adl (justice). 

Qur’anic Guidance 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: 

‘And your Sustainer has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him Alone; And (treat) parents favourably…’ 

This verse not only instructs kindness towards parents but also implies that mercy and patience begin within the family structure itself. Children learn compassion by being the recipients of it. When parents extend gentleness during a child’s regression, they nurture an environment where mercy becomes the family’s language. 

Prophetic Example 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2318a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him.’ 

This Hadith underscores that parental mercy is not optional; it is a reflection of faith. When we respond to a regressing child with softness instead of frustration, we mirror prophetic compassion. 

Building a Home of Mercy 

The arrival of a new baby is an opportunity to weave mercy into every relationship at home. Encourage the older child to welcome the newborn through gentle participation and affection. Praise every act of kindness they show, and make dua together for harmony and love between the siblings. 

When mercy replaces comparison, and patience replaces pressure, the home becomes a sanctuary of emotional safety. The older child learns that love expands with every new blessing, and parents grow in gratitude for the divine trust of guiding multiple hearts toward one another and toward Allah Almighty.