Parenting Perspective 

Grief can shake a child’s sense of safety and their understanding of the world. While adults may process death through faith and logic, a child often experiences it as confusion, fear, or even guilt. The role of a parent is to help them feel safe in the midst of that uncertainty, not by hiding the pain, but by walking through it together with compassion and clarity. 

Speak Honestly, Not Harshly 

Children need truthful words that are softened by tenderness. Avoid using phrases like ‘gone to sleep’ or ‘travelled away’, as these can create fear or misunderstanding. Instead, you could say something like: ‘Your grandfather has passed away. His body has stopped working, and his soul has returned to Allah Almighty.’ This honesty grounds them, while your calm tone reassures them that the world is still safe, even in sadness. 

Hold Space for Their Feelings 

Every child grieves differently. Some may cry easily, while others might ask questions that sound blunt or strange. It is important to let them talk, draw, or remain silent, as these are all valid forms of mourning. When they ask a question like, ‘Will he come back?’, resist the urge to dismiss their feelings. Instead, you can acknowledge their pain: ‘I know you miss him. It is hard when we cannot see someone we love, but we can still make dua for him.’ Your role is not to fix their grief but to witness it with love. 

Rebuild Structure and Connection 

After the funeral, it is helpful to reintroduce comforting routines. Regular activities such as bedtime stories, school runs, or family walks remind children that life continues with stability. You can invite them to participate in small acts of remembrance, for example, reciting Surah Al Fatihah, giving charity in the person’s name, or drawing a memory card for their loved one. Such rituals channel sorrow into connection and prayer, helping them feel that they can still give something to the person they have lost. 

Model Healthy Grieving 

Do not hide your own tears. Children learn emotional honesty by watching you. When you cry and still continue to pray, or when you speak of the deceased with calm love, they learn that sadness and faith can exist together. This behaviour models that grief is not a loss of strength but a sign of love, one that Allah Almighty sees and honours. 

Spiritual Insight 

Understand Loss as a Return to Allah 

Islam does not view death as an end but as a return to our Creator. Explaining this to a child gives them an anchor of peace, reassuring them that their loved one is with Allah Almighty, who is the Most Merciful. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verses 155-156: 

‘And indeed, very soon We (Allah Almighty) will test you with something: with fear; and hunger; and impoverishment of wealth and life and fruits of life; and give good news to those who are resilient. Those are the people when they come across any tribulation; they say “Indeed, we (came) from Allah (Almighty) and indeed, we will return to Him”.‘ 

This verse teaches that grief is a test of patience and trust. When your child repeats the words, ‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un’, they are reminded that both life and death belong to Allah Almighty, and that a reunion awaits in the Hereafter. 

Transform Pain into Ongoing Reward 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 3651, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a person dies, his deeds come to an end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.’ 

This hadith helps children to see that their dua matters; it is a gift that they can give to the one they miss. Teach them to make dua or to donate a toy, a book, or a meal in memory of the deceased. This practice converts feelings of helplessness into hope, reminding them that love continues through action. 

When parents treat grief not as something to be hidden but as a sacred emotion to be guided, children discover the deepest comfort of faith. They learn that the mercy of Allah Almighty is greater than any separation, and that love, when linked with remembrance, never truly ends.