Parenting Perspective 

Build Trust and Courage Through Practice 

Many children feel shy when speaking to elders, especially in a second language or a dialect they do not use every day. You can help by preparing your child with small steps that build their trust and courage. Practise simple greetings and polite phrases at home, like saying Salam, asking how someone is, or thanking them for a gift. You can also role-play short conversations, so your child knows what to expect. 

Praise their efforts to speak respectfully, even if they stumble over their words. Teach them that their tone and manners matter more than perfect grammar; elders often appreciate the effort over fluency. During visits, stand close by to help if your child gets stuck. If an elder corrects them sharply, you can step in kindly to protect their confidence. Afterwards, praise what they did well and remind them that trying is an act of respect. Over time, your patient encouragement will help your child to see that speaking to elders is not something to fear but is an opportunity to show good character and strengthen family ties. 

Spiritual Insight 

An Act of Honour and Trust 

Islam places great value on speaking to elders with humility and respect. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: 

‘And your Sustainer has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him Alone; And (treat) parents favourably…’ 

This Ayah extends to all elders in our family and community. Speaking kindly, even when nervous, is a way of honouring this trust. 

The Prophetic Example 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was the best example of respectful speech. He spoke to the young and old with warmth and never belittled anyone’s efforts to communicate. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy on our young and respect for our elders.’ 

Teaching your child to greet elders and try simple conversations, even imperfectly, follows this Sunnah. Remind your child that every Salam and kind word is rewarded by Allah Almighty. Make Dua that Allah Almighty eases their tongue and strengthens their heart. With your gentle coaching, your child will learn that each word they share with their elders is part of building love, trust, and a family bond that pleases Allah Almighty.