Parenting Perspective 

Reassure Them That Mistakes Are Normal 

Helping your child to see that slipping up does not make them a bad person is crucial for developing their self-compassion, resilience, and understanding that mistakes are a natural part of life. You can start by reassuring your child that everyone makes mistakes and that an error does not define who they are. You could say, ‘It is okay to make mistakes. Everyone does, even adults. What is important is that we learn from them and try to do better next time.’ This helps your child to understand that their worth is not tied to their mistakes but to their efforts and their willingness to improve. 

Focus on the Lesson, Not the Mistake 

When your child makes a mistake, it is helpful to focus on the lesson rather than on the mistake itself. Help them to understand that mistakes are opportunities for growth. For example, ‘You did not finish your homework, but now we can plan how to manage your time better next time.’ This teaches your child that making a mistake is not a failure but a stepping stone towards improvement. 

Encourage Self-Forgiveness 

Encourage your child to practice self-forgiveness. You can explain that feeling bad about a mistake is natural, but it is important to forgive themselves and to move forward. You might say, ‘It is okay to feel upset when things do not go as planned, but we do not need to be too hard on ourselves. We can always try to do better next time.’ Praise your child when they make an effort to learn from their mistakes, as this reinforces that growth and self-improvement are more important than perfection. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, Allah’s mercy and forgiveness are central concepts, and He encourages us to forgive ourselves and to strive for self-improvement. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 53: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): ‘O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful.’’ 

This verse reminds us that no matter the mistake, Allah’s mercy is always available for those who seek it. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of repentance and personal growth. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reflects the values of patience, self-compassion, and the importance of striving to improve. By helping your child to see that slipping up does not make them a bad person, you are teaching them to embrace the Islamic values of self-forgiveness, growth, and reliance on Allah’s mercy.