Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Differences, Emphasise Fairness 

Addressing bias from grandparents about ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ jobs requires sensitivity and respect, while also gently reinforcing modern, fair values that align with Islamic principles. You can start by acknowledging the cultural differences that may exist but emphasising the importance of fairness and equality in your household. You could say, ‘I understand that in the past, certain tasks were seen as being specific to boys or to girls, but we believe that everyone should contribute to all tasks, regardless of their gender. It is important to work together as a team, and that means sharing responsibilities fairly.’ 

Frame it as Teaching Responsibility 

When you are speaking to the grandparents, express the importance of teaching your children fairness, equality, and shared responsibility. ‘We are teaching the children that everyone can contribute to the family, and by doing all types of tasks, we are preparing them to be responsible, helpful, and respectful individuals.’ 

Guide the Conversation Gently 

If the bias continues, try to gently guide your grandparents towards understanding that these shared values will help the children to grow into more responsible and respectful individuals. ‘By encouraging both boys and girls to help with all tasks, we are preparing them to be fair, kind, and responsible adults. Everyone benefits when we all contribute equally.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, equality and fairness are central values, and responsibilities should be shared equally, regardless of gender. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Omniscient, the all Cognisant.’ 

This verse teaches us that men and women are equal in the sight of Allah, and their worth is determined by their actions and their character, not by their gender roles. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also exemplified the equality of men and women in his actions. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reinforces the importance of fairness, mutual respect, and shared responsibilities within the family, regardless of gender. By addressing bias and teaching fairness, you are helping your children to embrace these Islamic values of equality, cooperation, and respect for others.