Parenting Perspective 

When a young woman hesitates to speak about her challenges with the Hijab, the underlying emotion is often anxiety—a fear of disappointing you, being judged, or facing punishment. She may internalise her feelings, which can lead to shame or isolation. Your role is to create a safe, empathetic space where her honesty is always met with understanding and dialogue, not a reprimand. 

Acknowledge Her Courage First 

Begin by recognising the courage it took for her to share, even if she only hints at a struggle: ‘I understand this is not an easy thing to talk about. Thank you for trusting me with your feelings.’ Acknowledging her effort validates her emotions and reduces the pressure of secrecy. It shows that her honesty is valued. 

Reframe Challenges as Part of Growth 

Help her to understand that questioning or struggling with a religious practice does not mean she has a weakness in faith. You could say, ‘Feeling unsure or finding the Hijab difficult at times is a natural part of the journey. Many women experience this, and it can help us grow.’ You can also model this by sharing a personal story of a time you found a practice difficult, showing that struggles are human and surmountable. 

Collaborate on Solutions 

Invite your daughter to explore what exactly makes the Hijab feel challenging for her right now. Is it a practical issue, a social pressure, or something else? Ask, ‘What would make wearing it feel easier for you, and how can I support you in that?’ By offering to collaborate, you reinforce that her voice matters and that this is a shared journey, not a solo test. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours sincere effort and reflection far more than outward perfection. When a young woman can see her struggles as part of a divine journey rather than as a personal weakness, she can cultivate resilience, self-respect, and a deeper connection with Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 200: 

‘O you who are believers, be patient, and be resilient, and be constant, and attain piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may be successful.’ 

This verse reminds us that perseverance and patience are highly valued qualities in the sight of Allah. It can help a young woman to understand that sharing her struggles is a part of enduring with sincerity, not a sign of failure. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 100, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which benefits you…’ 

This hadith teaches that striving for what is beneficial is the mark of a strong believer. By framing her honest struggle with the Hijab as part of her effort to grow, your daughter can begin to speak more freely, knowing that her sincerity is valued far more than a false sense of perfection. 

By creating a safe and compassionate environment, you can ensure your daughter learns that faith is a journey, not a destination. Through your validation and gentle guidance, she can come to understand that her questions and struggles are natural, and that sincerity and perseverance are what truly matter in the sight of Allah.