Parenting Perspective 

When your child begins to measure their intrinsic value by the number of likes or comments they receive, it is not vanity that drives them, but a profound yearning for visibility—to be seen, affirmed, and truly valued. Social media has cleverly turned that ancient human need into a constant, anxiety inducing scoreboard, feeding self doubt whenever attention naturally fades. Your guidance must, therefore, reach far beyond the screen and speak directly to their heart. 

Listen Before You Lift 

Begin not by lecturing or dismissing, but by listening intently. When they lament, “No one liked my post,” avoid the quick, dismissive reassurance like, “It does not matter.” Instead, ask, “What does it feel like when that happens?” This allows them to name the emotion—disappointment, rejection, or embarrassment—which is the crucial first step in healing it. Once you validate the feeling, you can gently help them question the belief beneath it: “Do likes honestly tell the truth about your actual worth?” 

Such reflective questioning gives them necessary space to think, rather than immediately becoming defensive. It teaches them discernment, not denial. 

Explain How Algorithms, Not People, Decide Visibility 

Children often innocently mistake silence online for personal failure. Clearly explain that social media platforms are deliberately engineered to promote content unpredictably, often showing posts to only a tiny fraction of their followers. The lack of an immediate response is rarely a true reflection of them. A simple analogy works well: “It is like posting your photo on a giant wall—sometimes people pass by, sometimes they do not. It says nothing about your value.” 

This practical insight immediately helps them detach their identity from volatile, arbitrary metrics. 

Rebuild Validation from Within 

Every child requires sincere affirmation, but they must ultimately learn to draw it from genuine effort and inner growth, not public applause. Encourage consistent moments of self recognition. You could ask at bedtime, “What made you proud of yourself today that absolutely no one saw?” Gradually, they will begin to link their confidence to consistent effort rather than fleeting reactions. 

A micro action: once a week, praise your child for something unposted—a kind act, a moment of patience, or deep honesty. This intentional act quietly shifts their emotional compass from seeking an external audience to embracing internal authenticity. 

Help Them Understand Attention as Currency 

Explain clearly that on social media, attention is literally traded like money. When children fully realise that likes are a tool used by companies to keep them online longer, the manipulative illusion weakens. You might say, “These apps want you to chase likes because that keeps you scrolling. But you are not made to be chased by screens.” 

If feasible, establish gentle digital limits—screen free meals, nightly phone curfews, or shared family reflections about online experiences. Boundaries fundamentally restore emotional perspective. 

Model Your Own Digital Balance 

Children will inevitably mirror what they observe. Let them notice that your own sense of joy does not depend on public validation. Share your own small mistakes and quiet wins. If you post online, mention that you do it to share goodness or information, not to be approved. Your calm, healthy detachment becomes their crucial emotional safety net. 

Spiritual Insight 

The human heart naturally seeks to be valued, but Islam directs that profound desire towards the One whose approval truly matters: Allah Almighty. When children learn that Allah Almighty’s gaze holds infinitely more meaning than any audience, they begin to find lasting peace in unseen sincerity rather than visible applause. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran in Surah Al Hadeed (57), Verse 20: 

‘Note that indeed, the life of this world is only: a drama; and amusement; and ostentatious; and superficial bragging between yourselves; and unbridled desire for capitalism and offspring; the parallel of this is like the rain that pleases the harvester with its growth; but then it dries and you can see it turning yellow and then it crumbles into dust; and in the Hereafter is a severe punishment (for some) and redemption from Allah (Almighty) and his absolute Pleasure (for some); and the worldly life is nothing but a spectacle of delusion.’ 

This verse beautifully unveils the stark truth behind worldly applause—it fades quickly, like a flower in the sun. Real, enduring success lies in Allah Almighty’s forgiveness and approval, not in numbers or fleeting popularity. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4143, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not look at your forms or your wealth, but He looks at your deeds and your hearts.’ 

This Hadith offers your child a secure anchor: their true worth rests not in being seen by many, but in being seen by Allah Almighty with absolute sincerity. Encourage them to replace the anxious question, “How many liked me?” with, “Would Allah be pleased with what I shared?” That single shift instantly changes comparison into spiritual consciousness. 

When children fully understand that every act done sincerely—even when unseen—is perfectly written and eternally valued by Allah Almighty, they rise above the fragile economy of likes. Their heart learns to breathe again, finally free from digital mirrors, secure in the quiet light of divine recognition.