Parenting Perspective 

Politeness is a Choice 

Teaching your child to remain polite, even when others are rude, is an important life skill that fosters emotional maturity, patience, and resilience. You can start by explaining that while it is natural to feel upset when others are rude, responding with kindness and respect shows strength of character. You could say, ‘It is difficult when people are rude, but we can choose to respond with politeness, no matter how they act.’ 

Practice Pausing Before Reacting 

Encourage your child to take a deep breath and to pause before reacting. You can teach them that responding immediately to rudeness can escalate the situation, but a calm response can de-escalate any tension. You can practise this with role-playing, where your child can act out responding to a rude comment with phrases like, ‘I do not appreciate that, but I am not going to let it bother me.’ 

Model Respectful Behaviour 

It is also important to model respectful behaviour yourself, especially when you are faced with difficult situations. Children learn by observing their parents, so when you remain calm and respectful even when others are rude, your child will be more likely to adopt this behaviour as well. It is a good idea to praise your child when they respond politely to rudeness, as this reinforces the idea that their actions reflect their character and the respect they have for others. Finally, teach your child that they can always walk away from situations where someone is being rude, rather than engaging in negativity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, politeness and patience in the face of adversity are highly valued. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who, wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “peace be unto you.”’ 

This verse encourages us to respond with peace and patience when we are confronted with rudeness or hostility. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also demonstrated exceptional patience and politeness in the face of rudeness. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that true strength lies in our ability to remain calm, respectful, and composed, even when others are rude. By teaching your child to maintain their politeness despite the rudeness of others, you are helping them to embody these Islamic values, promoting peace and respect in their interactions.