Parenting Perspective 

Explain the Harm of Backbiting 

Backbiting can often become a part of social interaction, especially in group settings where gossiping or speaking about others behind their backs may seem common. However, it is essential to teach your child the importance of speaking kindly about others and the harm that backbiting can cause. You can start by explaining what backbiting is and why it is harmful. You could explain, ‘Backbiting is when we talk about someone behind their back in a way that would hurt their feelings if they knew. It is important to remember that our words can harm others, even if they are not around.’ 

Encourage Mindful Speech 

Encourage your child to think before speaking. You can teach them to ask themselves, ‘Would I say this to the person’s face? Would I like it if someone said this about me?’ This simple mental check can help your child to pause and to reconsider what they are about to say. Reinforce the idea that talking positively about others or remaining silent when there is nothing good to say is always the best choice. 

Address it Calmly 

If your child does participate in backbiting, address it calmly and gently. Discuss the harm that backbiting causes, both to the person being spoken about and to the person who is doing the backbiting. For example, you could say, ‘Talking badly about others does not help anyone, and it can hurt relationships. We should always strive to say kind things or to stay silent if we cannot speak positively.’ Praise your child when they speak positively about others or choose not to gossip. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, backbiting is strictly prohibited, as it causes harm and undermines relationships. Allah Almighty warns us about the consequences of backbiting in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘…And do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all, you would find it repulsive…’ 

This verse highlights the severity of backbiting and encourages believers to refrain from such behaviour, as it causes emotional harm to others and disrupts social harmony. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also spoke strongly against backbiting. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6065, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not backbite each other, and do not speak ill of one another.’ 

This Hadith underscores the importance of maintaining kindness and respect in our speech. By teaching your child to avoid backbiting and to speak positively about others, you are instilling in them the values of compassion, respect, and integrity as taught in Islam.