Parenting Perspective 

When a child witnesses their parents disagreeing, their emotional world can fill with fear, confusion, and even self-blame. They may see the argument as a sign that their world is unstable. Your first step, once things are calm, is to acknowledge their experience: ‘I understand it can feel frightening when we argue. Your feelings about it are important and you are safe to share them.’ Naming their fear validates it without amplifying it. 

Separate the Argument from Their Self-Worth 

Children often assume that adult conflicts are somehow their fault. It is vital to reassure them directly: ‘Our disagreements are about grown-up topics and are never about you or how much we love you.’ You can create a calm moment later to invite a one-minute reflection, asking how the argument made them feel. This small practice teaches them that their perception matters and is safe to share. 

Model Constructive Reflection 

Instead of trying to technically analyse the argument for them, demonstrate emotional accountability yourself. A simple, humble admission like, ‘I realise I raised my voice earlier, and I am sorry for making the house feel tense,’ teaches far more than any lecture. This models that owning one’s mistakes is a strength. 

Lead with Curiosity, Not Interrogation 

A child will feel unsafe if the follow-up conversation feels like a test. Replace questions like ‘Why did you feel that?’ with gentler invitations like ‘Can you tell me a little about how that felt for you?’ This invites them to share a story rather than forcing them to defend their feelings. This approach creates a habit of open reflection, even after difficult moments. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on compassion, self-awareness, and calmness in our relationships. Children can internalise these lessons when their parents model patience and accountability after a disagreement, turning an everyday conflict into a moment of spiritual teaching. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘…They suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

This verse highlights the great spiritual value of controlling one’s anger and showing forgiveness. These are noble qualities that parents can strive to embody, creating a more secure and peaceful environment for their children. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are best in character.’ 

By demonstrating calmness, empathy, and reflective honesty after a disagreement, parents live up to this ideal of having the “best character.” You teach your child that even in conflict, relationships can remain safe and that their honest feelings are always welcome. Over time, they learn that they can speak openly without fear, and that their family is a space for understanding and growth, not judgement.