Parenting Perspective 

At the heart of this question is a child’s deep need for agency and recognition. When children feel sidelined in family decisions, they may begin to believe that their thoughts are unimportant, which can lead to withdrawal. The first step is to acknowledge this need explicitly: ‘I want you to know that your thoughts are important to me, and I would like to hear them.’ This validation signals that their perspective is valued, not merely tolerated. 

Invite Their Participation in Meaningful Ways 

Begin by choosing decisions that naturally affect them, such as meal planning or weekend activities. Ask open-ended questions like, ‘What would you like to do as a family on Saturday afternoon?’ You can make this a habit by inviting your child to contribute one small idea to the family schedule each week. Even a single choice can communicate that their voice carries real weight. 

Model Collaborative Decision-Making 

Demonstrate how shared reasoning works by explaining the options and discussing the pros and cons of a decision openly. For instance, you could say, ‘You suggested the park, and I was thinking of the museum. How can we find a solution that makes us both happy?’ This process teaches them the art of negotiation and mutual respect. 

Celebrate Their Contributions Openly 

A child’s sense of value grows when their input is recognised and appreciated, even if their suggestion is not ultimately chosen. A simple acknowledgement—‘I loved hearing your idea; it really helped us to think differently’—reinforces the habit of participation. Over time, this nurtures confidence and family cohesion. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam emphasises consultation (shura) and valuing each member’s voice, illustrating that every person’s opinion carries weight in a healthy community. Encouraging your child to contribute to family discussions is therefore both a practical and a spiritual act, one that cultivates empathy and responsibility. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you; so, then pardon them, and ask for their forgiveness (from Allah Almighty); and consult them in all matters (of public administration)…’ 

This verse highlights that consultation is an act of mercy that strengthens relationships and earns sincere participation. Listening to and integrating the opinions of others—especially our children who are learning to navigate life, is an act that aligns perfectly with divine guidance. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 272, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of people to me on the Day of Judgment and the closest to me will be the one who treats people kindly.’ 

Incorporating a child’s input and listening patiently to their voice is a profound act of kindness that cultivates both spiritual and relational growth. It teaches them that respect and patience are practical expressions of faith, making your home a sanctuary for both love and learning. 

Through intentional inclusion and genuine appreciation for their input, parents can show their children that their opinions truly matter. This simple act strengthens their confidence, deepens family bonds, and nurtures their spiritual understanding under the guidance of Allah Almighty.