Parenting Perspective 

Protection Does Not Mean Control 

Teaching your sons to be protective yet respectful of their sisters involves balancing the values of care, responsibility, and respect. You can start by explaining that protection does not mean control but rather ensuring the safety and well-being of others in a respectful and considerate manner. You might say, ‘As a brother, it is important to care for and look out for your sister, but that also means treating her with kindness and respecting her independence.’ 

Respect Boundaries and Independence 

Encourage your sons to understand that being protective involves listening to their sisters’ needs and respecting their boundaries. You can teach them to offer help when it is needed, but also to recognise when their sisters can handle situations on their own. For example, if their sister needs assistance with something, guide your sons to help her in a way that is empowering, not patronising. You could say, ‘You can offer to help when your sister asks, but it is also important to let her make her own decisions and to respect her abilities.’ 

Model Respectful Behaviour 

It is important to model this behaviour yourself by treating everyone with respect, regardless of gender. When your sons see you treating their sister with kindness, fairness, and respect, they will be more likely to mirror that behaviour. You can also praise them when they demonstrate both protective and respectful behaviour. ‘I am proud of how you helped your sister but remember to always listen to her and to respect her choices.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the concept of caring for and respecting others, especially within the family, is a significant part of our faith. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 195: 

‘And expend (your wealth) in the pathway of Allah (Almighty), and do not let your actions place you in a (state of) destruction (by being miserly)…..’ 

This verse teaches us the importance of safeguarding others and acting in their best interests, a principle that applies to both men and women. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also exemplified the ideal relationship between brothers and sisters, teaching that respect and care for one another is essential. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reinforces the importance of treating family members with care, kindness, and respect, making it clear that protection does not come at the expense of dignity or independence. By teaching your sons to protect their sisters while also respecting them, you are helping them to embody these core Islamic values of empathy and respect.