Parenting Perspective 

Understand Their Individual Needs 

Adapting discipline to fit your child’s unique needs involves understanding their individual temperament, abilities, and challenges. You can start by observing your child’s behaviour and identifying patterns. For example, children with ADHD may struggle with impulse control, while children on the autism spectrum may have difficulties understanding social cues or processing emotions. Tailoring your approach to suit their needs helps them to feel understood and supported. 

Set Clear and Consistent Expectations 

One of the first steps is to set clear, consistent expectations and rules. Use language and strategies that your child can easily understand and avoid overwhelming them with too many instructions at once. For example, if your child struggles with transitions, you can give them a heads-up before moving from one activity to another. You could say, ‘In five minutes, we will clean up and get ready for dinner.’ Giving them a visual schedule or a timer may also help them to understand the sequence of events, which can reduce their anxiety or confusion. 

Use Positive Reinforcement 

Positive reinforcement is especially important when you are adapting discipline for a child with unique needs. Praise your child’s efforts and improvements, even if they have not yet fully mastered a skill. You might say, ‘I see you are trying really hard to follow the rules, and I am proud of your effort.’ This encouragement boosts their confidence and motivates them to continue working on their behaviour. 

Be Patient and Flexible 

It is also important to be patient and flexible. If one approach is not working, be open to trying new strategies. You could involve your child in the process by asking them what works best for them, such as, ‘What helps you when you feel upset or distracted?’ Involving them in their own discipline process helps them to feel more in control and teaches them valuable problem-solving skills. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, understanding and compassion are key when we are dealing with others, including our children. Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 199: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) adopt a forgiving approach and encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and disregard those who are imbued in their ignorance.’ 

This verse teaches us the importance of patience and kindness when we are dealing with others, including when we are helping our children to overcome their challenges. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of gentleness in discipline. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6594, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise.’ 

This Hadith highlights the need for compassion and kindness in guiding others, especially children. By adapting your discipline to your child’s unique needs with patience and empathy, you are helping them to grow in accordance with the Islamic principles of love, understanding, and personal development.