Parenting Perspective 

Redefine Loyalty as Helping, Not Hiding 

Encouraging loyalty in children is important, but it is equally essential to teach them that this should not come at the expense of standing up for what is right. It is important to reinforce the value of loyalty while also helping your child to understand that they should not ignore wrongdoing or be complicit in harmful behaviour. You can start by explaining that loyalty is about supporting and standing by those you care about, but it does not mean accepting or tolerating bad behaviour. For example, you might say, ‘It is important to stand by your friends, but if they do something wrong, it is okay to let them know. True loyalty means helping them to become better, not ignoring their mistakes.’ 

Teach Constructive Communication 

Help your child to understand that loyalty involves being honest and helping the other person to improve. If a friend or sibling does something wrong, they can still show support by gently pointing out the behaviour and offering advice. Encourage your child to express their thoughts constructively. You can teach them phrases like, ‘I do not think that is the right thing to do. Can we talk about it?’ This helps your child to understand that loyalty does not mean turning a blind eye to wrongdoing, but rather supporting others in doing the right thing. 

Discuss and Reinforce 

If your child faces a situation where they are torn between loyalty and doing the right thing, discuss the situation with them. Help them to explore ways to stay true to their values while still being supportive of the person involved. Praise your child when they handle these situations with integrity and fairness, reinforcing that loyalty should always be balanced with honesty and justice. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, loyalty is highly valued, but so is standing up for what is right. Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 8: 

‘You who are believers, become steadfast (in your devotion) to Allah (Almighty), corroborating all of that which is just; and never let your hatred of any nation prevent you from being just, – let justice prevail, as that is very close to attaining piety…’ 

This verse teaches us that loyalty must not compromise justice. By teaching your child to remain loyal while also standing up for what is right, you are helping them to align their actions with the principles of fairness and integrity in Islam. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of standing up for what is right, even when it is difficult. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6594, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise.’ 

This Hadith encourages your child to remain true to their values and to speak up for justice, even if it goes against the desires of their friends or peers. By helping your child to navigate loyalty with integrity, you are guiding them towards living in accordance with the teachings of Islam.