Parenting Perspective 

Have an Open and Kind Conversation 

Encouraging your husband to model fair gender roles at home involves open communication, mutual respect, and leading by example. You can start by having a conversation about the importance of both parents participating equally in household responsibilities. Explain that modelling fair gender roles not only sets a positive example for the children but also creates a more harmonious and balanced family dynamic. You could say, ‘It is important for the children to see us working together and supporting one another in all areas of home life. It shows them that men and women both contribute equally to the family.’ 

It is best to approach the conversation with understanding and kindness, rather than with criticism. Acknowledge the efforts your husband already makes, while suggesting areas for more involvement. For example, ‘I really appreciate how you help with the children, but I think it would make a big difference if we both shared more of the household chores. This will show our children that we are equal partners.’ 

Model the Behaviour You Expect 

It is also helpful to model the behaviour you expect by demonstrating cooperation and respect in your own actions. When your husband sees that you are taking on tasks with a positive attitude, it may encourage him to do the same. Recognise and praise his efforts when he helps out more around the house and involve him in the decision-making process for chores. This can create a sense of teamwork and shared responsibility. Lastly, be patient and understanding as habits and routines change, as it may take time to adjust. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, fairness, cooperation, and mutual respect between spouses are highly encouraged. Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’ 

This verse highlights the importance of mutual support, love, and cooperation between a husband and wife, ensuring that both partners contribute equally to family life. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also demonstrated the importance of sharing responsibilities at home. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith underscores that the ideal model for family life includes cooperation, respect, and shared responsibilities. By encouraging your husband to model fair gender roles at home, you are aligning your family with these Islamic values and setting a strong example for your children.