Parenting Perspective 

Respect, Modesty, and Dignity 

Explaining Islamic boundaries in friendships involves teaching your child about the importance of maintaining respect, modesty, and dignity in all their relationships, particularly with the opposite gender. You can start by explaining that Islam provides guidance on how to build healthy and respectful relationships that are based on good character and mutual respect. You might say, ‘In Islam, friendships are important, but we are taught to always respect the limits of modesty and propriety, especially when it comes to the opposite gender.’ 

Maintain Appropriate Settings 

Guide your child in understanding that certain boundaries should always be maintained in any friendship, such as avoiding private one-on-one interactions or unnecessary physical contact. ‘It is important to keep friendships in appropriate settings, such as during group activities, and to avoid situations where we might be alone with someone of the opposite gender.’ This helps your child to understand that Islam places a high value on maintaining modesty and safeguarding personal boundaries. 

Boundaries Protect, Not Restrict 

You can also explain that Islamic boundaries are about protecting their own dignity and the dignity of others, ensuring that relationships remain respectful and free from any inappropriate or harmful behaviour. ‘Islam teaches us to treat others with kindness, but it also reminds us to protect our modesty and to be mindful of how we interact with others.’ Finally, let your child know that setting these boundaries is not about being restrictive but about maintaining respect and good conduct in all relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, maintaining appropriate boundaries in friendships is crucial to ensure modesty and respect. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verse 30-31: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) to the believing men to lower their gaze (upon forbidden things); and protect their private parts (with chastity)….and say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) to the women who are believers; to lower their gaze (upon forbidden things); and protect their private parts (with chastity)….’ 

These verses emphasise the importance of modesty in all our interactions and teach us to protect ourselves from situations that may compromise our values. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of respecting boundaries in relationships. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith highlights that respectful and healthy relationships are built on kindness, trust, and understanding, with boundaries in place to protect the dignity of all individuals involved. By teaching your child about Islamic boundaries in friendships, you are helping them to navigate their relationships in a way that honours their faith and protects their modesty.