Parenting Perspective 

Children often associate chores with punishment because of how they are introduced. If a task is handed out in a moment of parental frustration or is directly tied to misbehaviour, the child naturally links responsibility with negative consequences. The challenge for parents is to reshape this association. Chores must be seen not as penalties, but as an essential part of belonging to a family unit where everyone contributes. 

Why Children Resist Chores 

Children value fairness. If they see chores as unevenly distributed, or only given to them when they have done something wrong, resentment grows. To them, tidying a room or sweeping a floor can feel like a correction, not a contribution. Acknowledging this feeling is the first step. Parents might say, ‘I know it feels like chores mean trouble, but they are what make our home work for all of us.’ This recognition softens their defensiveness and opens the door to reframing. 

Reframing Chores as Teamwork 

Language matters. When parents say, ‘Because you argued, now you must clean,’ chores become synonymous with punishment. Instead, frame them as teamwork. ‘Our family is like a team; everyone has a role, and when we play our part, life feels lighter for everyone.’ Children who understand that their actions directly help the family begin to see chores not as extra burdens but as acts of cooperation. Metaphors can also be powerful: ‘Our home is like a ship; we all must row to keep it moving.’ Such images inspire pride rather than resistance. 

Modelling Shared Effort 

Children imitate far more than they obey. If they see parents engaging in household tasks willingly, they absorb the lesson that chores are normal and meaningful. A parent who sweeps alongside a child communicates, ‘We are in this together.’ In contrast, issuing commands from a distance reinforces the idea of punishment. Working side by side creates an atmosphere of belonging, where effort feels shared rather than imposed. 

Linking Chores with Dignity 

Children respond well when they see the positive results of their contribution. A parent can highlight, ‘Because you helped set the table, we ate sooner,’ or, ‘Your help tidying gave us more space to play.’ This recognition connects chores with tangible benefits. It also frames responsibility as a source of dignity. Rather than feeling diminished, children feel important. 

A Micro-Action for Tonight 

Select one small chore, such as putting away cutlery after dinner. Invite your child warmly: ‘Shall we do this together to make our kitchen ready for tomorrow?’ Share the task with them once, then gradually step back. Over time, the child will begin to see this ritual not as a punishment but as a natural rhythm of family life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that responsibility and cooperation are not burdens but pathways to harmony. Chores, even small ones, become acts of service that strengthen family unity and cultivate gratitude. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 2-3: 

‘Indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.’ 

This verse reminds us that success lies not in individual freedom but in collective effort and patience. When children participate in chores, they are engaging in righteous deeds within their closest community: their family. Their work contributes to a household that reflects patience, care, and truth. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even if it were little.’ 

Chores are small deeds, but when done consistently, they build responsibility and foster love within the home. A child who tidies daily or sets the table each evening is not simply completing a task but practising regular good deeds. By framing chores in this way, parents teach that responsibility is worship in action, not punishment in disguise. 

When parents weave this wisdom into everyday life, children gradually shift their view. They stop seeing chores as penalties for mistakes and begin to recognise them as acts of teamwork and worship. This transformation nurtures not only a cooperative household but also resilient children who understand that responsibility, when shared with love, is a path to dignity and faith.