Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings 

Handling fights about who does ‘more’ chores requires setting clear expectations and creating a system of fairness and shared responsibility. You can start by acknowledging your children’s feelings, making sure they feel that they have been heard. You might say, ‘I understand that you both feel that the chores are unfair, but we need to work together to make sure that everyone helps out equally.’ This helps to address the issue calmly and ensures that both children feel that their concerns are valid. 

Establish a Fair System 

It is important to establish a fair system for distributing chores that is based on each child’s age, ability, and available time. Consider making a chore chart that assigns tasks to each child so that everyone knows what their responsibilities are. You could say, ‘Let us create a chore chart so you both know exactly what tasks you are responsible for. That way, we can make sure everything is fair and clear.’ 

Praise Teamwork 

It is also important to be flexible and to teach your children to be considerate of each other’s strengths and challenges. If one child struggles with a particular chore, encourage the others to step in and to offer their assistance. Lastly, praise both children for their efforts and for their teamwork when their chores are completed. ‘I am really proud of both of you for helping out. Working together shows that we are a strong team.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, sharing responsibilities and maintaining fairness is crucial, especially within the family. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 195: 

‘And expend (your wealth) in the pathway of Allah (Almighty), and do not let your actions place you in a (state of) destruction (by being miserly)…’ 

This verse teaches that we should all contribute to the well-being of our family and our community, not only through financial means but also through our effort and our cooperation in all areas of life. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also encouraged fair treatment and cooperation within the family. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith underscores that family life involves shared duties, respect, and support for one another. By ensuring that household chores are fairly distributed among your children, you are teaching them the Islamic principles of cooperation, fairness, and respect for one another’s efforts.