Parenting Perspective 

Teach the Importance of Pausing 

Helping your child to pause and think before they act is a key step in developing their self-control, emotional regulation, and responsible decision-making. You can start by teaching your child the importance of taking a moment to reflect before reacting, especially in situations where they feel strong emotions, such as anger or excitement. For example, you might say, ‘Before you say or do something, take a deep breath and think about how it might affect others.’ This helps your child to understand that pausing gives them the chance to make better choices. 

Encourage Calming Techniques 

Encourage your child to use calming techniques when they feel the urge to act impulsively. For example, you can teach them to count to ten, to take deep breaths, or simply to walk away for a moment when they feel overwhelmed. Practising these strategies during calm moments will make it easier for your child to apply them when they face challenging situations. 

Model the Behaviour Yourself 

You can also model this behaviour yourself. Show your child how you pause and reflect before making decisions, whether it is in small daily interactions or larger, more stressful situations. For example, when you are faced with a decision, you might say, ‘Let us take a moment to think about the best choice. I am going to pause and think before I react.’ This shows your child that taking a pause is a sign of strength and wisdom, not weakness. Praise your child when they successfully pause and think before acting, as this reinforces that the practice leads to better outcomes. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, self-control and thoughtful decision-making are highly valued. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

This verse teaches us the importance of patience and the ability to pause and think before acting, especially when we are tempted to act impulsively. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of pausing before acting. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith highlights that true strength lies in the ability to pause and to control one’s emotions before reacting. By teaching your child to pause and think before they act, you are helping them to embody the Islamic values of patience, self-control, and wisdom.