Parenting Perspective 

When something in the home gets broken, the aim is not to embarrass your child or to ‘make them pay’. The true goal is to teach them about stewardship, fairness, and the practical skill of putting things right. A well-handled repair plan can restore three things at once: the object, the relationship with others who use it, and your child’s identity as a trustworthy caretaker. 

Start with Calm Facts and Ownership 

Begin by stating what happened in a neutral, blame-free way: ‘The shelf snapped when it was climbed on. It belongs to everyone in the family.’ You can then ask one or two thinking questions to encourage reflection: ‘What choice led to this happening? What could help to keep it safe next time?’ This approach helps to move the child from a state of panic to one of problem-solving. It is important to keep your tone of voice steady so that the process of taking accountability feels safe. 

Co-design a Proportional Repair Plan 

It is crucial to match the repair to the impact of the action, not to your own feelings of anger. If the item can be mended, the child should help with the fix. If a replacement is needed, you can agree on a reasonable contribution from their pocket money or through extra service chores that benefit the family. It can also be helpful to add a relationship repair where relevant, such as asking them to reorganise the game pieces with a sibling or to arrange a shared ‘first use’ of the item once it is fixed. This teaches that we must repair both the object and the sense of togetherness it serves. 

Make the Restitution Concrete and Time-Bound 

Create a short, written plan together. This should outline what will be fixed or replaced, by when, and how the child will contribute. It is a good idea to break the plan down into small steps with dates. You can also use the repair process to teach practical skills, such as measuring, gluing, or sanding. Remember to praise their follow-through rather than just their promises: ‘You carefully re-packed every piece and taped the corners. That shows responsible stewardship.’ 

Conclude with Dignity and Prevention 

End the process with warmth and by establishing one prevention rule that the child can state aloud, such as a designated storage spot or a ‘no climbing on furniture’ rule. This signals a reset and reinforces the lesson in a positive way: ‘You have made it right. Next time, you will know how to handle it with care.’ This anchors the lesson in capability, not shame, so the child learns that mistakes are opportunities to restore trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, anything that we benefit from together is considered an amanah, or a trust. When a child helps to mend or replace what was broken, they are practising justice with their own hands and learning that the rights of other people matter to Allah Almighty. By guiding a calm and proportional plan, you are teaching ‘adl (justice) in your family life: weighing the impact fairly, acting within one’s capacity, and restoring what belongs to others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al An’aam (6), Verses 152: 

‘…(And in your business dealings) deal with full measure and weight and with equity; We (Allah Almighty) do not burden any soul except that which is in its capacity…’ 

This verse offers two key anchors for your repair plan. First, justice requires proportionality: the repair should fit the harm and not exceed it. Second, capacity matters: any contributions or chores must be within the child’s real ability. When you co-design a measured and achievable repair plan, you are living the guidance of this verse at your kitchen table. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2341, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.’ 

This concise guidance captures the true spirit of restitution. We do not allow harm to stand unresolved, and we do not repay harm with harshness. Instead, we remove the harm by fixing what was damaged and prevent new harm by handling things with better care. You can tell your child: ‘We do not leave damage behind. We make it right, and we learn a safer way for the future.’ In these small acts of returning trust and restoring rights, a child’s heart learns to love fairness for the sake of Allah Almighty.