Parenting Perspective 

When a child boasts and then lies to avoid embarrassment, the main driver is usually fear, not defiance. They perceive their status is slipping and instinctively grasp for a quick defence. Your calm response must teach them that dignity is recovered through truth, not through cover-up. Begin with steadiness: “I care more about your honesty than about being impressive.” This reframes the moment from potential humiliation to an opportunity for growth. 

Regulate Yourself Before You Repair Them 

Pause, breathe slowly, lower your voice, and soften your posture. Remind yourself that correction lands best on soft ground. Decide on a tone in advance: it must be warm, brief, and specific. Say clearly, “Let us rewind and try that again truthfully.” Calm predictability reduces both their panic and your frustration. 

Naming the Pattern Without Shaming the Person 

You must separate the identity of the child from the behaviour. Try this approach: “It sounds like you felt pressure to look good, so you added to the story. That happens. What matters now is choosing the truth.” This validates the social fear, removes accusation, and invites the child to take ownership. 

Using a Clear, Repeatable Correction 

Teach a three-step reset that the child can easily memorise: 

• Truth: State clearly: “I exaggerated. The true part is…” 

• Impact: Explain the consequence: “That could mislead people or hurt trust.” 

• Repair: Commit to the correction: “I will correct it with the same group and keep my updates honest.” 

Keep it short. If the boasting happened publicly, the repair should be public but brief. Model a single sentence: “I said I scored three, but it was actually one. That was my mistake.” Then move on. 

Building Status on Effort, Not Show 

Shift your family’s focus of praise from fleeting outcomes (e.g., scoring high) to the consistent process: preparation, practice, resilience, and teamwork. Replace general praise like “You are amazing” with specific feedback like “You kept working hard even when the task was difficult.” When a child’s sense of worth is anchored in consistent effort, the urge to protect their image with lies naturally weakens. 

Setting Fair, Light Consequences Tied to Repair 

Avoid lengthy moral speeches. Use proportionate outcomes that strictly reinforce truth. For example: if a boast misled classmates, the child must post or say the correction and then lose a small privilege linked to social media for a single day. Then, reset the relationship. The aim is learning, not lingering shame. 

End with connection: “Your value to us is steady. Honesty keeps it steady in your eyes too.” Children who feel securely valued need fewer disguises. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam profoundly honours truthful speech and warns against the pride that distorts reality. The spiritual remedy for face-saving lies is not humiliation, but the humble return of the tongue to truth. Calm correction, paired with brief repair, protects both the child’s faith and their relationships. 

Truthful Speech Rectifies Deeds 

The Quran teaches that choosing truth invites divine help to set all matters right. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verses 70–71: 

‘O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy. (Thereupon Allah Almighty) shall rectify your deeds for you, and shall forgive your sins; and whosoever shall obey Allah (Almighty) and His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), shall indeed, be triumphant with a great victory.’ 

Tell your child: “When you correct the story, Allah helps to tidy the consequences and cleans your record.” Honesty becomes a path to ease, not exposure. 

The Value of Giving Up Lying 

Even small, face-saving untruths are noted in our faith. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4800, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for the one who gives up lying even when joking, and a house in the middle of Paradise for the one who abandons argument even if he is right, and a house in the highest part of Paradise for the one who makes his character good.’ 

Explain the promise: “Giving up even small, face-saving untruths brings a great promise from Allah. That is how valuable sincerity is.” Link the act of boasting to inner restlessness and the act of telling the truth to inner peace (Sakinah). 

Encourage a family culture where modest truth is admired: neat uniforms, tidy rooms, on-time Salah, and finished homework. Status must be grounded in integrity and service, not in mere speech. Over time, your steadiness teaches the child that “losing face” is not fatal, and that truth told quickly is dignity regained. Under Allah Almighty’s gaze, the child learns that character is built by protecting the truth, not by protecting a fragile image.