Parenting Perspective 

Children absorb lessons most powerfully from observing parental behaviour. When a child sees a parent genuinely celebrating someone else’s success—with calmness, grace, and no trace of self-comparison—they quietly absorb the confidence that goodness in others does not diminish their own value. To model this effectively, you must nurture an inner sense of abundance: the firm belief that Allah Almighty’s blessings are vast and not limited. 

Begin with Honest Self-Awareness 

Parents must manage their own subtle self-comparison maturely. Your child should see you acknowledge others’ achievements with internal peace. 

1. Open Reflection: If a colleague or friend achieves something notable, you might remark to your child later: ‘I am happy for her; she truly worked hard. It reminds me that effort always bears fruit in different times for different people.’ 

2. Anchor Value: This open reflection teaches the child that someone else’s praise does not question your own inherent value—it only affirms that good work matters and is rewarded according to divine timing. 

Shift Focus from Comparison to Contribution 

Help your children view others’ success as a shared blessing and collective good, rather than a competitive threat. 

1. Reprogramming Language: Use simple, impactful reminders: 

1. ‘I am proud of her success because it lifts our whole team.’ 

2. ‘When one person grows, it creates space for all of us to learn.’ 

This phrasing subtly reprograms the child’s instinct, showing them that praise is a current that flows through communities, not a spotlight that blinds. 

2. Celebration Circles (Micro-action): Make ‘celebration circles’ a routine at home. When a family member succeeds (a test result, a kind deed), invite everyone to share what they learned from it. This short, inclusive habit reinforces that every success belongs to the family unit. 

Model Calm Humility in Tone and Body Language 

Your composure teaches the child that appreciation is genuine, not forced, and that confidence does not equate to loudness. 

1. Steady Demeanour: When expressing happiness for others, keep your voice steady, your eyes relaxed, and your tone sincere. Children are experts at detecting concealed envy or tension. 

2. Verbalise Balance: If they ask, ‘Do you ever feel sad when others get praised?’, you can share an honest yet faith-based response: ‘Sometimes, yes, but I remind myself that everyone has their own time, and my turn will come in the way Allah Almighty wills.’ This models that confidence is the ability to manage doubt with faith. 

Anchor Celebration in Gratitude, Not Performance 

Teach your child that every success—whether it is yours or another’s—is an essential opportunity to say ‘Alhamdulillah’, not to ask, ‘What about me?’ 

• Gratitude Dissolves Doubt: Gratitude naturally dissolves the shadow of self-doubt because it consistently draws the heart away from damaging comparison and securely towards sincere contentment and thankfulness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam fundamentally connects humility, gratitude, and fairness as the necessary cornerstones of healthy relationships. The focus is never on outshining others but on recognising that all blessings are trusts from Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran in Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Omniscient, the all Cognisant.’ 

This verse gently yet firmly dismantles the belief that earthly recognition equals spiritual superiority. It reminds both parent and child that Allah Almighty measures the sincerity of hearts, not the volume of applause. When you celebrate someone else’s blessing, you are consciously recognising Allah Almighty’s mercy in action, not losing your own place in His perfect plan. 

It is recorded in 40 Hadith An Nawawi, Hadith 13, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

This profound Hadith transforms the simple act of celebration into a form of worship. When a parent sincerely feels joy for another’s success, it is a powerful expression of faith, not weakness. When your child witnesses you smile genuinely for a neighbour’s achievement or speak kindly about a friend’s good news, they are witnessing iman (faith) in its most practical form. 

To model celebrating others without self-doubt, you must unite humility with conviction. Children need to clearly see that appreciation for others is not self erasure—it is self assurance rooted in tawakkul (trust in Allah Almighty). Every time you express joy for someone else, you are simultaneously affirming your own belief that your share of goodness is safely written for you. Over time, this powerful example helps your child internalise a profound calm: ‘I can clap for others without losing my own rhythm.’ They learn that the worth of their heart does not fluctuate with who receives praise—it remains constant and secure in the sight of Allah Almighty.