Parenting Perspective 

Predict the Pinch Points Together 

Before a busy season starts, sit with your child and map out the likely triggers for jealousy. These might include cousins’ gifts at Eid, discussions about ‘who finished the Quran first’ during Ramadan, classmates’ revision scores, or holiday photos on social media. Naming these triggers early helps to lower their power. Ask, ‘What moments usually sting for you?’. Then, choose two preventative actions for each trigger, for example, stepping outside for two minutes after results are shared, or muting a group chat on report day. 

Set a Calm Family Rule About Comparison 

Create one simple sentence that everyone in the family can remember: ‘We celebrate others without comparing’. Practise short scripts that protect dignity when comparisons inevitably begin. 

• For relatives: ‘We are focusing on each child’s own pace this year’. 

• For peers: ‘Well done. I am working on my own plan’. 

• For Ramadan: ‘MashaAllah, may Allah accept from all of us’. 

Rehearse these lines in a light and natural tone so they feel comfortable to use in the moment. 

Swap Scoreboard Thinking for a Personal Plan 

Help your child build a ‘steady deeds and study’ plan for the season. For Ramadan, this could involve choosing small, repeatable acts like praying two units of night prayer, reading one page of the noble Quran, or performing one act of kindness before iftar. For exams, they could pick two controllable actions, such as completing one practice question after dinner and spending ten minutes reviewing before Maghrib. Track their streaks of consistency, not what other people are doing. Label their progress precisely: ‘You revised even when you were tired. That built stamina’, or ‘You kept up with your nightly page. That built consistency’. 

Coach Coping Tools for Hot Moments 

Jealousy can surge quickly. Give your child a three-step reset they can use anywhere: sip water, soften the shoulders, and slowly exhale for six counts. Add one line of truth they can tell themselves: ‘I can feel envy and still choose kindness’. Pair this with one outward action to be taken within a minute, such as sending a message of congratulations, helping to serve food, or opening a book for a quiet review. Action interrupts emotional spirals. 

Curate Feeds and Gatherings with Mercy 

During seasons that amplify comparison, it is wise to reduce exposure to things that can burn the heart. Mute rank-heavy group chats for 24 hours. Move important conversations to voice notes or calls, where the tone is often kinder. At gatherings, give your child a purposeful role that fits their nature, such as greeting guests, organising plates, reading a short prayer, or helping younger cousins with tasks. Having a purpose shrinks the space for comparison. 

Strengthen Identity Beyond Results 

Keep speaking to the person your child is becoming: ‘You are someone who lifts others up when they win’, ‘You are a steady learner’, or ‘You keep your promises to Allah Almighty even when no one is watching’. Messages about identity create an inner resilience that numbers and photos cannot shake. End intense days with connection rituals that tell the truth about their real worth, like a quiet walk, story time, or a shared prayer before sleep. 

Partner with Teachers and Hosts 

If public rankings at school tend to inflame jealousy, you could ask for private feedback or growth-focused comments rather than leaderboards. For family events, you might brief a trusted elder beforehand to help steer conversations away from comparisons. Most adults will gladly help to protect children’s hearts when they are asked kindly. 

Spiritual Insight 

See the Season Through the Quran’s Lens 

Special times can often magnify worldly measures of success. Islam reframes this picture so the heart does not shrink when others seem to surge ahead. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hadeed (57), Verse 20: 

‘Note that indeed, the life of this world is only: a drama; and amusement; and ostentatious; and superficial bragging between yourselves; and unbridled desire for capitalism and offspring…’ 

Use this verse to name the pattern your child sees online or at gatherings: boasting and rivalry are a part of this worldly life. The cure is not to hide from these seasons, but to walk through them with awareness, choosing actions that carry weight with Allah Almighty. Ask your child, ‘What is one choice you can make today that leaves a trace with Allah Almighty, not just with people?’. 

Replace Envy with Small, Steady Deeds 

Jealousy tells a child to speed up to beat others. The Sunnah, however, tells us to show up consistently for Allah Almighty. Help your child to redirect their heart from ranking to reliability. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6465, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those which are done regularly, even if they are few.’ 

Link this teaching directly to the situation. In Ramadan, the real success is not posting about completions, but in keeping a humble daily portion of worship that softens the heart. During holidays, it is the small acts of service that no camera sees. In exam season, it is the honest revision done for the sake of Allah Almighty, with trust in His decree. Invite your child to make one simple intention each morning: ‘O Allah, please accept my small, regular efforts and keep my heart clean’. When they feel the sting of envy, they can return to their plan and take the next small step. This is how the habit of jealousy is overcome, and how a season that once brought hurt can become a workshop for sincerity, gratitude, and quiet growth that Allah Almighty never overlooks.