Parenting Perspective 

Validate Their Feelings 

Reassuring your child when they feel different from cultural norms requires empathy, understanding, and guidance. You can start by validating their feelings and acknowledging the challenges they may face. You might say, ‘I understand that it is not easy when you feel different from others, but remember that everyone is unique, and there is no one right way to be.’ This reassures your child that it is okay to feel different, and that their uniqueness is something to be celebrated, not something to hide. 

Encourage Individuality 

Encourage your child to embrace their individuality and to see their differences as strengths. You can help them to understand that they do not have to conform to societal expectations if it does not align with their values or who they are. ‘You do not have to follow everyone else. What matters is being true to yourself and to the values that are important to you.’ This gives your child the confidence to stay true to who they are, even if it means standing out. 

Prioritise Faith Over Culture 

Use Islamic teachings to explain that the most important thing is to live according to Allah’s guidance, not to fit into a particular cultural mould. You can say, ‘In Islam, we are encouraged to be the best versions of ourselves, regardless of what others think. What matters is pleasing Allah through our actions, not fitting in with cultural expectations.’ Teach your child that cultural norms should never override their faith and that Islam provides them with a solid framework for living with confidence and integrity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, individuality is recognised and respected and being true to oneself in accordance with Allah’s guidance is a noble pursuit. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 172: 

‘And remember (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) when your Sustainer collected all the souls from the children of Adam, from all the generations of his descendants, and made them all witnesses upon themselves (and Allah Almighty said unto them): ‘Am I not your Lord’, they all replied: ‘Yes and we bear witness’…’ 

This verse reflects that every individual is created with unique qualities, and that each person’s identity is part of Allah’s divine plan. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught the value of individuality and of staying true to one’s faith. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith encourages personal integrity and respect for oneself and others. By reassuring your child that their differences are not only acceptable but are also valued, you are helping them to embrace their identity in a way that aligns with the teachings of Islam.