How Do I Redirect Online Attention-Seeking into Creative, Positive Posts?
Parenting Perspective
When your child frequently posts exaggerated selfies, dramatic captions, or vague emotional updates just to attract a high volume of likes or comments, they are essentially using social media to fill an emotional gap. This behaviour is less about vanity and more about a deep craving for validation. The most effective solution is not to simply ban the impulse for attention, but to strategically redirect it from shallow, temporary approval toward meaningful self-expression and skill-based pride.
Name the Pattern Without Shaming
Address the behaviour gently and calmly. Say: “You want people to notice you—that is normal. But this way may bring the wrong kind of attention.” Keep your tone observational, not judgmental. This approach preserves trust and creates a safe space for reflection, making rebellion less likely.
Explore the Emotion Behind the Posts
Ask your child what specific emotion they feel right before posting: are they lonely, bored, proud, or feeling overlooked? Naming the underlying emotion helps them separate their emotional need from their online strategy. Once they can recognise the trigger, you can work together to establish healthier, non-digital replacements.
Channel Attention into Value-Based Creativity
Encourage digital expression that is firmly rooted in their actual skills and contribution. Suggest positive themes that naturally build their identity: art, photography, craft tutorials, Qur’an journaling, nature captions, or uplifting Islamic reminders. You might say, “If people are watching you, let them see your light, not your low.” Help them create a content calendar with clear, positive goals: “One helpful post each week,” or “Share a quote that inspires others.”
Introduce the ‘Three Checks Before Posting’ Rule
Institute a simple rule that trains sincerity and emotional independence, shifting the primary reward from reactions to purpose:
- Is it beneficial?
- Would I be proud if my teacher or grandparents saw it?
- Would I post this if no one liked it? (This trains detachment from the like count.)
Build a Sense of Purpose Beyond Likes
Actively link their online creativity to real-world growth—such as community projects, competitions, or faith-based initiatives. Show them clear examples of young Muslims who successfully use social platforms for dawah (inviting others to Islam), art, or genuine positivity. Genuine impact quickly replaces attention addiction with lasting confidence and positive contribution.
Replace Validation with Connection
When they share content responsibly, engage with genuine warmth and specific affirmation: “I truly loved your caption; it showed great thoughtfulness.” Reinforce the creative process, not the like count. Over time, the child internalises the powerful truth that authentic connection and creative output feel far better than digital chasing.
Spiritual Insight
Qur’anic Reflection
The Noble Quran reminds us of the fleeting nature of worldly attention compared to the lasting reward of sincere deeds.
Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Kahf (18), Verse 46:
‘All wealth and offspring are luxuries of the worldly life, but (the outcomes of) virtuosity shall remain forever, and it is deemed the best (action) to be rewarded by your Sustainer, and the best source of hope (for the Hereafter).’
This verse serves as a reminder that worldly displays—including the transient attention gained online—will fade, but sincerely intended deeds will endure. When you guide your child to create posts that help, inspire, or remind others of goodness, you are training them to invest in lasting attention—the kind that earns reward from Allah Almighty, not just hearts on a screen. Help them view each post as a seed for good deeds, not merely a bid for fleeting approval.
Prophetic Guidance
The Hadith offers a perfect ethical framework for using a platform, however small, for positive outreach.
It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1893, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
‘Whoever guides someone to virtue will be rewarded equivalent to him who practices that good action.’
This Hadith offers a profound digital ethic. A child who uses their platform to share a positive message, knowledge, or a kind word gains the equivalent reward of every single heart uplifted by their words. You can tell them, “Every time you post something good, you gain reward—even if no one clicks like.” Over time, they learn to replace validation-seeking with purposeful, sincere sharing.
By connecting their innate creativity with pure niyyah (intention) and positive contribution, your child begins to see the online world as a powerful arena for dawah, inspiration, and beauty. The initial desire to be seen transforms into a mission to do good—and that is precisely how you convert attention-seeking into a source of sadaqah jariyah (ongoing charity).