Parenting Perspective 

It is natural to feel frustrated or impatient when a child struggles to change their behaviour. However, lasting change is a gradual process that requires repeated practice, reflection, and gentle reinforcement. Shifting your own mindset is key; every misstep is not a failure but a learning opportunity for both you and your child. Remembering this helps you manage your expectations and respond with patience instead of frustration. 

Track Small Wins 

A practical way to maintain perspective is to consciously track small wins, even if they seem incomplete. If your child attempts to use a calm tone during a disagreement, even for a moment, acknowledge it later: ‘I noticed you tried to speak calmly earlier. That was a good effort’. Focusing on these micro-steps provides tangible proof that progress is happening, even if it is slow. This reinforces the idea that effort is what matters most. 

Model Persistence and Reflection 

Children learn resilience by watching how you handle your own challenges. Be open about your own journey with personal growth. You could say, ‘I am still practising how to be patient when I feel stressed, just like you are practising how to manage your big feelings’. This act of modelling persistence humanises the process, showing that everyone is a work in progress and that consistent effort is more important than perfection. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam constantly reminds us that personal growth is a lifelong journey that requires patience, persistence, and reliance on Allah’s guidance. In the eyes of Allah, continuous effort, even in small increments, is highly valued and rewarded. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 1-3: 

‘By the (design of) time (by Allah Almighty); indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.’ 

This powerful surah places patience at the heart of a successful life. As a parent, embodying and advising your child towards patience is a sacred duty that requires you to first be patient with their learning process. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 79, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, though there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless.’ 

This hadith is an empowering reminder for parents. When you feel discouraged by slow progress, remember to strive, seek Allah’s help, and refuse to feel helpless. By internalising these principles, you can approach your child’s behaviour change with renewed hope, creating a nurturing environment where they feel supported in their journey of growth.