Parenting Perspective 

Short, planned one-to-one time effectively reduces negative attention-seeking bids (such as complaints, interruptions, or chaos) because it replaces the child’s feeling of scarcity with a guaranteed, predictable refill of belonging. When a child’s need for connection is met proactively, they are far less likely to resort to conflict to demand attention. 

Make It Predictable, Not Occasional 

The foundation of this strategy is predictability. You must schedule small, non-negotiable pockets of one-to-one time each day—even just five to ten minutes per child. 

• Schedule It: Write the time on a family calendar or use a designated ‘special time card’. 

• The Outcome: This predictability converts attention from a fierce competition to a firm promise. When the child knows their turn is coming, the intense need to provoke or disrupt dramatically shrinks. 

Keep It Child-Led and Simple 

The aim of this time is not elaborate entertainment, but undivided, focused attention. 

• Child’s Choice: Allow the child to choose the activity within calm boundaries: drawing, walking, folding laundry together, or sharing a snack. 

• Focus: Maintain warmth, curiosity, and humour. Crucially, allow no instructions, no corrections, and no multitasking. A few minutes of this focused presence outweighs hours of distracted co-presence. 

Guard It from Disruption 

You must actively guard the scheduled slot from any interruptions by other siblings. 

• Boundary: If a sibling interrupts, state warmly but firmly: ‘This is your sister’s turn now. Yours is at six o’clock.’ 

• Lesson: You are not excluding the other child; you are showing that love is steady and fair. Guarding the slot teaches all children that connection is shared based on a predictable rhythm, not something to be stolen. 

Pair Connection with Cooperation 

Before transitioning out of the special time, gently link the positive moment to an expected responsibility. 

• Link: Say: ‘I loved our chat. Now let us pack your schoolbag.’ 

• Teach: This weaves affection into the daily rhythm and teaches the child that connection and contribution are meant to go together. 

Track the Effect, Not the Duration 

Observe over several days how the frequency of whining or rivalry decreases after consistent one-to-one time. Children require connection as predictably as they require meals—not as a luxury, but as essential emotional maintenance. If negative bids increase, check whether the connection routine has slipped. You are not rewarding misbehaviour; you are removing the scarcity that fuels it. 

Spiritual Insight 

Qur’anic Reflection 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 74: 

‘And those people that say: “O our Sustainer, Grant to us (those circumstances that make) our spouses and our offspring, a comfort for our eyes; and make us from those that have attained piety, and a role model”.’ 

This verse beautifully portrays the family as a place of sukoon—calm joy. Planned one-to-one time is a deliberate way to actively seek this comfort. By giving your child undivided presence, you are embodying the dua (supplication) of this verse, moving family life from reactive correction to intentional mercy. It is through these small, steady moments of love that the home becomes a sanctuary of righteousness, not rivalry. 

Prophetic Guidance 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5997, that the holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, kissed his grandson Hasan ibn Ali while another man said, ‘I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.’ The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, replied: 

‘Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’ 

This Hadith transforms short affection into a vital spiritual practice. A few moments of personal warmth are not small acts; they are profound acts of mercy that actively invite Allah’s mercy. When you plan daily connection time, you are following the Sunnah (Prophetic way) of gentleness: guiding behaviour through love given proactively, before it is ever demanded. Over time, negative bids fade because the child no longer needs to shout to be seen—they rest in the certainty that mercy will find them, every day.