Parenting Perspective 

The boundary that stops parents from re-doing their child’s work and inadvertently killing motivation is simply: Do not re-do it. The urge to “fix” a child’s work often stems from a desire to maintain high standards or save time. However, when parents take over, even with the best intentions, they undermine the child’s confidence and ownership. The key is to resist this urge and focus instead on nurturing effort and growth. 

Let Them Own the Process 

Parents must start by recognising that mistakes are an integral part of the learning process. When a child presents work that is not perfect, avoid the impulse to correct every detail. Instead, encourage self-reflection by asking guided questions: 

• “What do you think went well with this task?” 

• “Is there anything you would like to change?” 

By allowing the child to identify and make adjustments themselves, parents reinforce the idea that their effort matters more than immediate perfection. 

Set Clear Expectations, Not Control 

It is essential to communicate trust in the child’s abilities. This sets the boundary clearly: while support is available, the work remains the child’s responsibility to complete. 

• Example Script: “I believe in your ability to do this. If you need help, just ask, but I will not re-do it for you.” 

This message empowers them to keep trying, knowing that the responsibility is theirs and that they have parental support, not micromanagement. 

Praise the Effort, Not the Perfection 

Parents should focus their praise on the child’s effort, persistence, and creativity, shifting the focus from the outcome to the process. For instance, say: “I see how much time you spent thinking about this, and that is what really matters.” This reinforces that trying hard is the goal, not achieving flawless results. Over time, this builds a growth mindset and sustains high motivation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every effort, no matter how small, holds value if it is done with sincerity and the right intention. By letting a child take ownership of their work, parents are not merely helping them learn; they are encouraging them to take pride in their abilities and to strive for ihsaan (excellence) in all they do—a quality beloved to Allah Almighty. 

Effort and Intention in Islam 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse serves as a crucial reminder that Allah Almighty understands our capabilities and efforts. When we do our best, even if the result is less than perfect, Allah Almighty values the sincerity and effort behind it. By allowing a child to own their work and make mistakes, parents teach them to trust in their efforts, knowing that Allah Almighty values their striving, not just the result. 

The Prophet ﷺ and Personal Responsibility 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overcomes others by his strength, but the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

This hadith underscores the importance of self-control and resilience. By not re-doing a child’s work, parents allow them to build their own self-control and learn resilience through trial and error. When children are allowed to work through challenges themselves, they develop strength—both in character and in their faith in their abilities. 

By setting the boundary of not re-doing their work, parents help their child develop a profound sense of responsibility, independence, and resilience. This not only fosters self-esteem but also aligns with the Islamic value of striving in the right way, for the sake of Allah Almighty, with sincerity and effort in everything they do.