Parenting Perspective 

When a child asks why their friends can travel abroad while your family cannot, the question often comes from a mix of disappointment, comparison, and a budding awareness of social differences. Beneath the surface, they may feel excluded or embarrassed. Approaching this with empathy and gentle reframing can help them navigate these difficult emotions while reinforcing the values of contentment and gratitude. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings First 

Begin by naming what your child is experiencing: ‘I can see that it feels unfair and disappointing when your friends get to travel and we cannot. It is normal to feel left out.’ Validating their emotion without immediately justifying your family’s circumstances signals that it is safe for them to be honest. This acknowledgement is a form of love and emotional security. 

Reframe the Situation Positively 

After acknowledging their disappointment, gently shift the perspective towards what you can do and appreciate. You might say, ‘Even though we are not travelling abroad right now, what local adventures can we plan together?’ Highlighting alternatives nurtures creativity and resilience, teaching them that happiness is not defined by a passport stamp. 

Explain Your Family’s Values 

Children benefit from understanding the reasoning behind family decisions. You could explain, ‘Every family makes choices based on their own priorities. For us, that might mean saving for education or supporting other family needs.’ Framing this around purpose helps your child see that financial limits are often caring, deliberate choices, not punishments. You can reinforce this by inviting your child to plan a small, local family outing, giving them a sense of agency and shared joy. 

Encourage Open Dialogue 

Invite your child to articulate their feelings further by asking, ‘Can you tell me what you feel you are missing out on the most when your friends travel?’ This practice teaches them to identify and express specific emotions safely. It also models the family value of thoughtful, respectful discussion over silent comparison. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings emphasise gratitude, patience, and a deep trust in the plan of Allah. Children can benefit from understanding that while worldly desires are natural, the inner states of contentment and patience hold a much deeper value. Learning to accept one’s circumstances gracefully cultivates an appreciation for the unique blessings one already possesses. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 180: 

‘And let not those people who are miserly (and hoarders) with what Allah (Almighty) has granted them from His benefactions, assume that this (miserliness and hoarding) is better for them; rather this is worst for them…’ 

While this verse is about stinginess, its underlying principle encourages mindfulness about wealth and provision. It helps children to understand that what others have is part of a divine plan and is not a measure of one’s personal worth or station with Allah. 

It is recorded in Riyad as Salihin, Hadith 466, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Look at those who are lower than you (in worldly matters) and do not look at those who are above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favours of Allah…’ 

This hadith gives children a practical, spiritually grounded tool to manage feelings of comparison. Instead of measuring themselves against their peers, they are encouraged to focus on gratitude and perspective. By teaching your child to consciously notice their own blessings, you help them to internalise contentment and patience. 

Through validation, practical guidance, and a spiritual framework, children can learn that joy is not solely dictated by travel or wealth. They can come to see that their family’s conscious choices carry wisdom, and that Allah’s provision extends far beyond material measures to include the love, safety, and shared experiences that shape lasting values.