Parenting Perspective 

Children naturally enjoy receiving affirmation; it mirrors their fundamental need for recognition and parental love. However, if this affirmation is not carefully guided, it can inadvertently lead them to seek external admiration more than inner meaning. The goal is not to eliminate praising, but to fundamentally reshape it—turning an acknowledgement of success into a heartfelt reminder of gratitude, rather than a spark for dangerous pride. When praise begins with genuine warmth and ends with sincere remembrance, it humbly guides without dulling the resulting joy. 

Making Gratitude a Part of Celebration 

When your child accomplishes something positive—whether it is mastering a new skill, achieving a good score, or showing unexpected kindness—begin with honest warmth: ‘You did that beautifully!’ and then immediately add, ‘Alhamdulillah, Allah Almighty helped you use your effort well.’ Linking the praise directly to gratitude forms a crucial association in the child’s mind: every moment of success must carry an immediate moment of thanks, thus preventing self centredness. 

Introducing a Praise Ritual 

Establish a simple family habit where each significant praise moment concludes with a small verbalisation of thanks or a short dua, such as, ‘May Allah Almighty give you more barakah in this effort.’ This turns individual success into a collective, shared act of worship. Over time, the rhythm of praise followed by gratitude becomes so natural that even a young child may instinctively say ‘Alhamdulillah’ after being sincerely complimented. 

Focusing on Growth, Not Superiority 

Consciously shift the language of affirmation away from harmful comparison. Replace the statement ‘You are better than others’ with the encouraging, internal focus of ‘You are improving each and every time’ or ‘You applied dedicated effort, and it clearly showed in your work.’ This grounds pride in the continuous process and their own effort, not in the ego’s desire to be superior. A child praised for their consistent improvement learns to compete healthily with their past self, not against their peers. 

Modelling Reflective Humility 

Children instinctively mirror the tone and attitude they observe. When you receive a compliment, let your child clearly hear your humility: ‘That was very kind of you to notice. Alhamdulillah, I sincerely tried my best.’ Such careful modelling demonstrates that gratitude is not weakness; it is dignity. It shows them that recognition can be deeply meaningful without needing to unduly inflate the heart. 

Inviting Gratitude as Conversation 

After moments of affirmation, ask your child thoughtful, reflective questions designed to shift the focus inward: 

1. ‘Who or what helped you specifically reach this goal today?’ 

2. ‘How do you want to sincerely thank Allah Almighty for this success or ease?’ 

3. ‘What did you learn from this effort that you can use next time?’ 

These gentle inquiries intentionally shift the focus away from simple applause and towards deep self awareness. The child begins to see their success as part of a larger, inter connected relationship—between their effort, the guidance they received, and the continuous Divine support. 

A practical micro action: before dinner each evening, invite every family member to briefly share one sincere praise they received that day, and then immediately say one sentence of gratitude for it. This can be as simple as, ‘I am thankful Allah Almighty made that task easy for me.’ This practice makes gratitude a living, daily language within the home. 

Spiritual Insight 

Gratitude (shukr) is correctly understood as the very soul of humility. Islam teaches that every single blessing, whether it appears small or grand, demands a conscious remembrance of its Giver. When a child learns that the praise they receive is not a declaration of ownership but a recognition of Allah Almighty’s immense favour, their heart stays light, rather than becoming burdened with pride. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran in Surah Ibraheem (14), Verse 7: 

‘And (remember) when your Sustainer made this declaration; (saying that): “If you show gratitude, I (Allah Almighty) will indeed, amplify them for you (provisions and sustenance); however, if you become ungrateful, then indeed, My punishment is Meticulous (in execution)”.‘ 

This divine promise fundamentally reveals that gratitude reliably multiplies blessings and increases favour, whereas pride and ingratitude actively diminish them. A child who is consistently reminded of this learns that the truest reward for their sincere effort is not external applause, but the promise of increase through thankfulness. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4811, that the holy Prophet Muhammad `ﷺ` said: 

‘He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.’ 

This Hadith teaches that sincere gratitude and generous acknowledgment are fundamentally intertwined—appreciation towards human helpers becomes a necessary extension of appreciation towards the Divine Source. When children are taught to sincerely thank both the human instruments and the Ultimate Divine Giver, their success becomes an active part of a beautiful cycle of humility, not an isolated moment for the ego. 

In due time, the act of praise itself transforms into something deeply spiritual. It no longer feeds personal vanity but effectively nourishes remembrance. The child who instinctively whispers ‘Alhamdulillah’ after every triumph carries both firm confidence and profound calm. They learn that being praised is not about being universally seen, but about clearly seeing the One Who granted them the ability. In that crucial awareness lies the finest balance—joyful effort wrapped in deep gratitude, and personal pride gracefully replaced by enduring peace.