Parenting Perspective 

Understanding the Roots of Comparison 

Children often measure their worth by looking at how others perform, win, or receive praise. When they see a sibling or classmate being celebrated, the heart instinctively whispers, ‘What about me?’ This feeling is natural, but it needs nurturing to transform envy into inspiration. The goal is not to silence these emotions but to help children name and reframe them. You might say, ‘It is okay to feel a little sad when someone else wins. It means you care about doing well too.’ This validation brings emotional safety, while conversation guides them toward empathy. 

Avoid comparing your child’s progress to others, even in encouragement. Phrases like, ‘See, your friend did it, so you should too,’ create pressure and competition. Instead, praise effort personally: ‘You are learning steadily and that is what matters most.’ When children feel valued for who they are, not how they rank, they find it easier to genuinely celebrate the success of others. 

Creating a Culture of Shared Joy 

Children learn how to celebrate through imitation. If they see you congratulating others warmly and speaking well of people, they absorb that behaviour as normal. Model it aloud: ‘I am so happy for Aunty; her hard work paid off.’ Similarly, when one sibling is praised, invite the other to join in the celebration: ‘Let’s tell your brother how proud we are of him.’ Over time, this repetition reshapes their instinct from comparison to connection. 

Introduce gratitude-based routines. During family meals, each person can name something good that happened to someone else that week. This small ritual trains children to notice blessings beyond themselves. In group settings, encourage cooperative achievements, such as shared projects and collective goals, over individual prizes. When children experience the joy of shared success, they begin to understand that someone else’s light does not dim their own. 

Building Their Internal Security 

A child’s ability to celebrate others is deeply tied to how secure they feel in themselves. When children feel unseen or undervalued, the successes of others can feel threatening. Parents can strengthen this inner stability by noticing small daily wins, including effort, kindness, patience, or honesty. This reinforces an identity that extends beyond achievement. You might say, ‘I loved how kind you were to your friend today,’ which builds worth through character, not comparison. 

Remind them that everyone’s path unfolds at its own pace. Teach the concept of divine timing, explaining that Allah Almighty gives blessings at the best moment for each soul. When children trust that their turn will come, they can celebrate others without feeling forgotten. 

Spiritual Insight 

Recognising That Every Blessing Has Its Appointed Time 

Faith teaches that envy steals peace because it makes us forget the Source of all gifts. Islam invites believers to replace jealousy with Dua, which involves praying for another’s blessing to grow and for our own to follow. When parents explain that the achievements of others do not reduce our own provision (Rizq) or opportunities, children learn contentment and gratitude. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verse 131: 

‘And do not raise your eyes (in expectation for your Ummah), towards the fact that We (Allah Almighty) have given benefits to some of the groups of (extremists in disbelief) amongst them, the luxuries of this worldly life; (this is so that) We (Allah Almighty) may test them (with these indulgences); and the provisions made by your Sustainer are always better and everlasting.‘ 

This verse beautifully teaches that our focus should remain on Allah Almighty’s unique plan for each of us. Encouraging children to make Dua for someone’s success nurtures a heart that sees abundance rather than scarcity. 

Prophetic Guidance on Jealousy and Love 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ provides the highest model of emotional maturity: celebrating others as an act of faith. Parents can remind children that when they feel happy for someone, they are practising one of the noblest forms of belief (Imaan). 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 45a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

Teach them to say, ‘Alhamdulillah, my friend did well,’ and then, ‘May Allah bless me with the same when the time is right.’ Such training grows hearts that are both secure and sincere. Over time, your child will realise that another’s success is not a threat but a reflection of Allah Almighty’s generosity. A home that normalises Dua over envy becomes a sanctuary where love expands, joy multiplies, and every child learns that celebrating others only makes one’s own light shine brighter.