Parenting Perspective 

Understand Their Emotional Core 

When children have outbursts, it is often because they are overwhelmed by intense emotions like frustration, anger, or anxiety. They may not yet have the tools to navigate these feelings, which can be confusing and distressing for them. As a parent, it is important to see these moments not as acts of defiance, but as opportunities to teach emotional regulation. The goal is not to reprimand but to help your child build the resilience needed to calm themselves in challenging situations. 

Teach Simple Calming Strategies 

Begin by introducing simple, clear strategies that your child can use when they feel their emotions escalating. This can include practical exercises such as slow, deep breathing, counting to ten, or finding a quiet space to sit for a few moments. The key is consistency. Whenever your child starts to feel overwhelmed, gently guide them through one of these techniques. Be patient and supportive as they practise, and remember that learning to self-regulate is a skill that takes time to develop. Eventually, they will learn to recognise the signs of an outburst and use these strategies independently. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great importance on patience (‘Sabr’) and self-control, both of which are central to managing emotions. The ability to remain calm is a virtue that brings spiritual rewards, and teaching this to our children aligns perfectly with Islamic principles that encourage self-mastery, especially in moments of anger. 

The Wisdom of Patience (Sabr) 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verses 153: 

‘O those of you who are believers, seek assistance (from Allah Almighty) through resilience and prayer, indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those that are resilient.‘ 

This verse highlights the divine value of patience when dealing with difficult emotions. The ability to remain patient is a quality that brings us closer to Allah, and it is a virtue we can instil in our children by teaching them calming techniques. When we guide our children with patience and understanding, we help them grow stronger emotionally and spiritually. 

The Prophetic Example of Self-Control 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls themselves when they are angry.’ 

This hadith praises self-mastery, especially during moments of anger. By teaching our children calming techniques, we are following the noble example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and fostering emotional control. This not only helps them manage their feelings in the present but also builds a strong, virtuous character for the future, aligning their actions with the values held dear in Islam.