Parenting Perspective 

When relatives and neighbours express excitement over a new baby next door, it can feel to your child as if their own light has dimmed. It is important to meet this emotion first. Kneel to their eye level and say, ‘It looked like everyone was excited about the new baby and you felt left out.’ Keep your words brief, warm, and steady. Validation helps to lower the emotional heat, allowing your child to hear your guidance rather than feeling the need to defend their feelings. 

Build a Predictable Two-Track Plan 

Create a routine for neighbourly interactions so that the attention shown outside your home does not empty your child’s emotional cup inside it. 

• Connection guarantees: Schedule two protected pockets of time each day: a five-minute pre-visit ritual, such as a special handshake or joke, and a ten-minute ‘Anchor Ten’ session after any neighbourly chat ends. You can put these on a small card on the fridge so your child can point to them when feelings of jealousy arise. 

• Helper roles: Give your child a purposeful title that helps them feel a sense of belonging without competing with the baby. They could be the Neighbourly Runner, who carries a card or a plate, or the Kindness Scout, who spots chances to help. A sense of purpose can dissolve the ache of feeling invisible. 

Script Their Words for Tricky Moments 

Children can freeze when they lack the right language. Practise two or three short lines with them. 

• ‘I drew a card for the baby. Can we drop it off with you?’ 

• ‘I feel a bit left out. When is our Anchor Ten time?’ 

• To an adult who only praises the neighbour’s baby: ‘I learnt a new trick today. May I show you later?’ 

Rehearsing posture, voice, and brevity helps shy children to remain calm when attention tilts away from them. 

Set Gentle Boundaries with Adults 

Model the behaviour you wish to see from visitors and family. In conversations, mention your child first before talking about the neighbour’s baby: ‘Yusuf helped me tidy the house today. We are about to pop over with a card for the new baby.’ If someone repeatedly overlooks your child, you can bridge the gap softly by saying, ‘Amina is our Kindness Scout today. She chose this flower for them.’ You are not shaming anyone; you are simply widening the circle of attention. 

Decompress After Each Encounter 

It is helpful to run a three-step reset when you return home. 

1. Name it: ‘That was a lot of talk about their baby.’ 

2. Normalise it: ‘New babies often get a lot of attention. It is not about your worth.’ 

3. Nourish it: Run your Anchor Ten time exactly as you promised, with your phone away, a timer visible, and plenty of eye contact. Predictability heals much faster than promises. 

Teach Perspective Without Dismissing Pain 

Once the initial sting has eased, help your child consider the neighbour’s world, which may include less sleep and many visitors. You can invite your child to participate in a simple kindness project, like baking biscuits or drawing a card. When children practise generosity in moments of envy, they experience how their hearts can grow instead of shrink. 

Spiritual Insight 

Anchor the moment in a faith-based perspective that honours neighbours while also guarding every child’s heart. Explain that Islam asks families to be generous to their neighbours while remaining fair at home. Your child’s patience and kindness are seen by Allah Almighty, and small acts done with sincerity become a form of worship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 36: 

‘ And worship Allah (Almighty) only, and do not ascribe to anything instead of Him (Allah Almighty); (which amounts to  icon worshipping/paganism); and with parents (proceed with them favourably), and with close relatives and friends and impoverished (people); and your neighbour that is close to your neighbourhood…’ 

Share how this ayah turns everyday moments into opportunities for goodness. This includes greeting others kindly, dropping off a card, making space for others’ joy, and then returning home to keep our own fairness routines alive. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6014, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Gabriel continued to recommend me about treating the neighbour well until I thought he would make him an heir.’ 

Explain to your child that honouring our neighbours never means neglecting ourselves. It means we act with generosity outside while protecting justice and warmth inside our own homes. You can end the day with a brief family dua: ‘O Allah, please widen our hearts, bless our neighbours, and let each child in our home feel seen.’ Over time, this blend of structure, kindness, and spiritual meaning teaches your child that love is not a spotlight to be fought for, but a light that grows as we share it for the sake of Allah Almighty.